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Think about the people closest to you. Tell us about how the coronavirus has affected them, and their life.
My spouse has become obsessed with cleaning and covid safety. I am a scientist and do the risk analysis of any action I take. She on the other hand assumes always the worst case scenario. On a daily basis this creates a lot of tension between us.
February 17, 2021
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Think about the people closest to you. Tell us about how the coronavirus has affected them, and their life.
My husband has been the only other person here in my "bubble" . We have not had anyone else in our home for 10 months. We have only been with people outside, masked and distanced. My husband is very reclusive. He is one of Illinois exonerated death row inmates and suffers from PTSD. Lock down because of covid19 is heaven for him! Nothing in his life has really changed. He is an organic vegetable farmer and never liked leaving the farm. Because all my activities have been put on hold he is the sole source of my in person interaction. That is difficult for him. Because his life hasn't really been affected he does not share my sense of loss of all the things that made up who I am as a person.
February 17, 2021
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Has the pandemic affected your political views in any way? If so, how?
No. The pandemic has not changed my political views. I am conservative in my views. That does not stop me from practicing hand washing, and masking. I thought that Trump did the right thing when he closed travel from China early last year, but the opposition called him a racist. He said that we were going to have a vaccine at the end of the year - he was criticized and laughed at for that. The construction of the wall has been stopped. Expect illegal entries and problems associated with an open border to increase. The WHO has come to the conclusion that the virus did not come from a lab in Wuhan; that it might have come from meat products from Australia. What!!? Impeachment is a process of removing someone in office. Yet majority of the US senators voted to proceed with the impeachment process. It boggles my mind that these people are in office!
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I will be 70 in June. In many ways, I feel as though the last year has taken away the precious time of savoring the last drop of my 60s. I was diagnosed with an autoimmune illness in 2020. As my symptoms worsened, I felt as though I marked each day's toll of rising Covid cases and deaths with the growing fire in my joints, muscles, ligaments, tendons.
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Since April 14, 2020, I've been creating a daily Haiku accompanied by an image and posting it on my Facebook page. Today, February 16, 2021 is Day #304 Haiku in Corona Time Fat Tuesday today Laissez les bon temps rouler Day of indulgence
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
February 17, 2021
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Well! What a nice surprise to see an article in the NYT about... US! This project!! It was fun reading an overview of the project and some of the results the researchers are finding, although now I feel like the experiment has been tainted since we know what the scientists are looking for :)). Okay, Just kidding. While I thought the reporter did a good job, it all felt very meta--a story within a story, and confirmed my commitment to this project. Because every time a reporter or writer tries to make sense of something, they impose their own structure on top of it. By design, a report will always be reductionist, trying to make sense of the "data" or the "noise". So that made me feel even better about the time I take to write here, where we share our raw feelings. I know these will be far more valuable because no one is interpreting what we say or trying to make a story out of OUR stories. Our thoughts and stories are ALL OURS! I really love the idea that future historians will have all this raw data to draw from and understand what life was like during this pandemic. So, future historians, when we're all dead and buried and you're huddling inside from polar vortex frigid winters and oppressively hot-baked summers, I hope you will find our stories useful/instructive/entertaining. Anyway, here's my story for Feb 16. My mother, who is 85, went in to a nursing home right when the pandemic started, around March of 2020. She has not been out in the world since it started. She has also been in serious cognitive decline since then. We think she has dementia/early Alzheimer's. So it's a struggle to keep her updated on why she can't go anywhere. Thank God she has forgotten most things such as her apartment and her cats. She is also now used to weekly zoom calls with my two brothers and can joke around with us through the screen. Anyway, today was warm enough (45+ -- one of the few places in the US not crushed by the polar vortex) for me to have an outdoor visit with her. She's been depressed and keeps asking me when she can leave the nursing home. I decided that I would try to cheer her up with some music. So I brought my phone and a bluetooth speaker and a really good dancing playlist I'd made on Spotify, with all kinds of R+B and disco. So After we chatted for a few minutes, I said "let's dance." I went to turn on the playlist and... GRRRRR! No cell service. Luckily I still had music in itunes, so I put on Jorge Ben, Ponta de Lança Africano, also known as Umbabarauma, a great samba funk dancing song. Like a wild woman I waved my arms and boogied around the patio while my mother......... burst into hysterical fits of laughter!! She could not keep her head up she was laughing so hard. Okay, the point was to get her moving, get her heart rate up and have some fun. But I guess if she had fun at my expense that's okay too. I had no idea I was such a bad dancer and normally I might have been insulted. But we're one year into a pandemic and honestly, the only way to survive this is to just let go!!!! Truly, it was nice to see her laugh like that. Totally made my day.
February 17, 2021
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¿De que manera el coronavirus le está afectando su vida en este momento? Cuéntenos sus experiencias, sensaciones/emociones, y pensamientos.
Esta semana tenemos dos días de vacaciones por carnaval, debido a la pandemia no podemos salir de paseo y decídimos salir con mi esposa a caminar a un parque cercano. La presencia de árboles y aire fresco alegra un poco este feriado.
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
February 17, 2021
February 17, 2021
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Many of us have experienced restrictions on movement and social contact during the pandemic. Talk about any restrictions that have especially affected you.
I have been nowhere in the last year except to see doctors. With travel restrictions, I was unable to fly to visit family, which means that we are going into the second year since I have seen them. My only contact with friends is on Zoom or other video calls. I have put off dental care and now I require gum treatment. The only contact my husband and I have with the outside world beyond our neighborhood is through the windows of our car as we go for an occasional drive.
February 17, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
“I was intrigued, because all he wanted was love,” or so he said. “I want love too.” West Hollywood, California, the gayest part of Los Angeles, is my home town. I haven’t felt love since March when I started to shelter in place. A lot of guys use websites to meet other men. For me, surfing these websites is kind of like, window shopping. Online, good-looking men hit me up. I message back that I’m looking for one exceptional guy in my life, and I’m not meeting anyone, without a mask and without six feet of separation, until I get the vaccine; it’s a struggle to keep my resolve, but I do. The internet is a mixed blessing. There was a time men met in bars, in coffee shops, at gyms, and even on the street, but COVID and online dating sites changed–up, all of that. I have not been touched by man or beast since I started staying at home, almost a year ago. Looking at photos of old boyfriends is not my idea of good-love, but to paraphrase an old rock ‘n roll standard, If it wasn’t for bad-love, if it wasn’t for real-bad-love, I wouldn’t have no love at all. Sometimes, I haunt these websites, looking for love in all the wrong places. Part of my cyber-cruising is a vestigial remnant of behavior I no longer manifest, and it’s kind of obsessive. I can get stuck on this Loveholic hunt for hours. But I don’t find love. And love does not find me. There is no sweet, chubby, baby cupid firing arrows into MY heart. Many websites use GPS technology; they tell you exactly how many feet away, each man is from your location. Urban legend: two guys meet on the same Virgin Atlantic flight this way, and fall in love. Really? All these sites are international, although you can break it down to the city you live in – guys are having physical encounters all over the world - COVID be damned. Scary. These days when you sleep with someone, you sleep with everyone they have slept with, germ-wise. Old friends with benefits call me and want to come by, like there is no raging pandemic, at all. I feel their needs, I understand; I’m needy, too. I have not held someone in my arms. I have not given or taken love. I have not had grand and glorious sex, for far too long and I am going kind of Kovid-Krazy. After all, I am a red-blooded, queer, all-American man, hello? COVID makes me realize that I want a guy to call my own. While romantic adventures used to be fun, what I really crave is someone to deeply love who loves me back. I want one special man; I want a boyfriend, a lover, a partner, maybe a husband. I always thought that marriage was a heterosexual construct, but now I am thinking that the pandemic caused a paradigm shift, at least in my thinking. Do you want somebody to love? Yes, I want somebody to love. I need somebody to love. When I write that, silly pop songs flood my brain, but it’s true, why dissemble, that’s what I want. The whole bit, a ring, a wedding, maybe a child, I want it all. I met George on Adam4Adam, the oldest gay dating site out there. I wrote, and in my first message told him, that because of COVID, I am sheltering in place and not having physical encounters. I continued, "I’m looking for someone sweet, manly, and honest, a monogamous lover who could be my best friend." So was George. We messaged back and forth on A4A. We exchanged phone numbers and started texting. We sent pictures. George is a handsome man; we both have beards and art collections. Straight off, George called me “darling”, which is a little off-putting. Far too much affection, far too soon, for it to be for real. Then he called me “love”, and added, “My man”. “My man,” was at least masculine. “Darling” and “love” are endearments that need to be earned with time. I started calling him, "Baby” and “Georgie,” getting into the spirit of things, but not wanting to commit. Texting only goes so far. You can’t take the emotional pulse of someone you want to love, in a text. Finally, we spoke on the phone. What a mess. His cell kept breaking up. George has a thick, impenetrable English accent, which I hope is charming in person, but combined with his phone problem, torpedoed our communication. I wanted to meet for coffee on the weekend, at Starbucks. But George wasn’t picking up on the idea. So on Saturday, I asked George if he would take a Houseparty video call with me on Sunday at 5:30 pm. George said fine and asked me to send him a link, which I did. He texts me a big red heart Emogi. On Sunday when I didn’t hear from him, I resent the link, three times. No George. “Hey George, are you there? Click on the Houseparty link. Click on the link I sent you.” He didn’t call or text. In the old days, if we had a date and you shredded a flat tire or got sick, at least you called or texted. George did nothing. Suddenly, a message from Adam4Adam flashed on my PC. “It's Sunday night...the busiest time on A4A, come join us.” Okay, I am going on the website to see if George is on, just curious. A banner cajoles me to “Upgrade to get unlimited message history.” George’s messages are gone and I forgot his screen name. I don’t want to start scrolling through the online members. I get angry, then sad. I guess I should have upgraded. An instant A4A, alert comes at me. (I forgot to close the browser). Presto, who wants a long-term relationship messages me. I message back. “Hey Presto, Thanks for reaching out, I am looking for a long-term relationship with one guy, but, you’re in Pittsburg and I am in Los Angeles, so you are not the man for me. Good luck finding somebody to love.” I closed the browser. Finding someone to love…is the universal quest… but it ain’t easy. COVID changed me up; I’m not the man I used to be. There are lots of good, man-on-man love story movies on all the big streaming sites, from Amazon to Netflix and Youtube, too. Watching them; I get caught up in characters that need romantic love, just like me. These are sweet, steamy love stories. Some have happy endings, like God’s Own Country, others don’t, like Brokeback Mountain. There is a provocative new romantic series, staged in Texas, produced by Rob Lowe, who plays the dad, a fire chief; his son, also a fireman, falls in love with a policeman. They met at a flaming car crash – hot. Their love-making scenes so needy, so desperate, and romantic; they make me yearn for a man to love, even more. And I cry when lovers die, or end their relationships, to “move on”. When I was nineteen, I had l’Amour Feu, what the French call crazy love. It made me do silly things like sing and play my guitar under the window of my lover’s college dorm. His roommates thought I was nuts. My stomach physically hurt, when I didn’t have my arms around him. A few years later, when I was almost twenty-one, Steven, was another Crazy Love. We were obsessed to lie our bodies together and passionately kiss, for hours on end. When he disappeared for six months and I suddenly encountered him on a YMCA rooftop solarium, we couldn’t help but start kissing again. I lost my Y membership over that one. So embarrassing, when they hauled us off the roof and took away my Y card, in front of everyone. When you are in a hot cocoon of love and desire and gripped by l’Amour Feu, reason goes out the window. You don’t care who sees you, or what they think. That was my history; that was the spine of my love-life. Thankful, I am that I have no more of those heart-breaking episodes, as sweet as they were. I grew up; I’m too old, for that stuff. I want to love fully, but I want to love as an adult. After a few days, George texts me. I write back: “How can you care about me, and send me big red emoji hearts? How can you love me, and call me darling, when we have never met?” He texts back, “I’m not sure you want to know.” Then I write, “Of course, I do. Tell me, tell me, please? Why? Why? Why, George? I need to know." Often in life and love, there are no easy answers. And there are no more texts from George. So I go back and join the ranks of the lovelorn, in the middle of a pandemic, that knows no end. If I was going to title this post, I would call it , Queer Love in the Time of COVID
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
In June 2020 we masked up and went to friends to celebrate the life of a tree that was burned in the fires in 2017. She seemed to be fine, but she couldn’t recover. Two traumas: Fire and Pandemic. I’m a poet and a photographer. I took this picture from the road as we drove to their home. My poem: Black Walnut In the distance a tall black walnut tree, an eclipse of her former self. Her branches, darkened by fire, reach toward Venus and the moon glowing luminescent. We approach with trepidation and the burden of farewell. Tomorrow brings sunrise, chainsaws, and men who may or may not appreciate she is Malka,* supreme in her realm. Sitting on the ground beneath her once verdant beauty, our mouths hold words, splendid jewels of love rendered into poems to surround her, a blanket shimmering with silver and gold threads. In the moonlight we reach arms around her trunk, hold strong to who she was as Malka: A haven for birds nesting, boys climbing, small rabbits shading. Nothing left to say but farewell and thank you for the hundred years of your presence. ©J.V. *Hebrew Origin: Queen Great news: Several months later a new young shoot grew from the stump of her life. I try to be optimistic. Though 2021 with no end in sight for the Pandemic is a challenge. I have started taking distant walks with very close friends, masked and grateful. I do walk every day with our dog. He doesn't wear a mask.
February 18, 2021
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¿De que manera el coronavirus le está afectando su vida en este momento? Cuéntenos sus experiencias, sensaciones/emociones, y pensamientos.
Dado que el tiempo se suspende - o sea: marcha, pero en una suerte de realidad paralela-, las cosas parecen no ocurrir nunca. De pronto, el fin de semana aparece y parece que uno hubiera vivido diez años en vez de 6 días. El trabajo, de la misma manera, fluye con la lentitud del fango, pero con la misma fuerza de un río crecido: abruptamente, el tiempo nos golpea y no sabemos qué estamos perdiendo de esta realidad recortada. También, haciendo caso a la estación, la nieve ha sido un hito con el cual interrumpimos la penitencia. En las últimas dos semanas, hemos tenido que remover nieve metódicamente, sin pausa, pero sin prisa, cada uno en un rincón de la casa. Lo hacemos mi suegro y yo, cada uno en su propio silencio. No hay mediaciones, simplemente abrimos la puerta del garage y, luego de agarrar una pala con decisión y desgano (la rara mezcla es posible, aunque excepcional), y arrancamos removiendo lo que, esperamos, sea nieve ligera. Hemos tenido suerte en esa parte, al menos en la última semana. Y ya que mi salud física está tan apolillada como mi cerebro, el dolor muscular que se extiende por días marca otra penitencia, la del insomnio. Se pierde la claridad del día y la noche, y la cuenta de los días se hace más y más borrosa. De pronto es viernes, o miércoles o sábado. No importa: todos esos días son en el fondo uno solo donde no se puede dormir tranquilo. Pareciera que esto no tiene nada que ver con el virus, pero todo está atravesado por él: el tiempo, suspendido en su circunstancia; el trabajo, intangible y sin embargo concreto; la nieve, que removemos sin que nadie transite la calle en nuestro radio inmediato; la salud que, a falta de movimiento, carcome la razón y la convierte -en mi caso- en un relato donde todo se sale de órbita y la realidad, más que un delirio, es un mal viaje.
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Photo Sketch 1: January 6, 2021 Caption: Covid days Trump Terrorists storm the Capitol. Processing...Pandora's jar. Anger, disbelief, numb, Alarm, Fear, Confusion, Worry Photo Sketch 2: January 10, 2021. Caption: Took a walk and laid my land on a strong tree. It was soothing. Covid and Coup days
February 18, 2021
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Talk about what brings you happiness these days.
Songs from Sesame Street have been bringing me happiness these days. I started a playlist on Spotify called Sesame Street and put my favorite songs from the show on it. I also watch videos of songs from early seasons on YouTube. Sesame Street has been my favorite TV show since I was little. My favorite songs from the show are “Do De Rubber Duck”, “Rubber Duckie”, “Elmo's Song”, “Let's Go Driving”, “ABCDEFGHI”, “Monster In The Mirror”, and “What's The Name of That Song?” I'm a huge fan of the show. Whenever I'm feeling sad, I listen to these songs and I feel overjoyed. My parents watched Sesame Street when they were little. I still watch the show even though I'm an adult. I listen to my playlist while dancing or while doing schoolwork. If I'm listening while completing schoolwork, I turn the volume down on my phone so I disturb anyone with loud noises. I wish that Sesame Street will continue to make me happy during the pandemic.
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I’m now in my late 50s. My mother often used to say, “it’s later than you think.“ I never doubted that statement, but living through the pandemic has turned my thoughts to my mortality and to that of my loved ones— and to trying to live each day with an awareness of what matters most to me. I don’t take for granted that I, or anyone I love, has any guarantee of life. At the beginning of the pandemic I was filled with such anxiety that it took me hours to fall asleep at night, I awakened throughout the night, and suffered from insomnia. I have type 1 diabetes, and persons with diabetes are at a greater risk for hospitalization, COVID-19 related complications and death from the virus. I haven’t been to the grocery store or any other nonessential public place in a year. I have only had a few essential medical appointments in person, one medical procedure, and two lab appointments for blood tests. I began to meditate in the spring of 2020 and now meditate at least twice daily; the practice has helped me greatly. I also begin and end most days with a prayer, something I rarely, if ever, did before the pandemic. My husband and I have two daughters in their 20s, each living in urban environments hours away from us. I try hard not to worry too much about their health risks as they navigate work and school, but that has been a challenge.I’m learning to let go of the illusion of control.
February 18, 2021
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Many of us have experienced restrictions on movement and social contact during the pandemic. Talk about any restrictions that have especially affected you.
Here is a list of restrictions, many of them self-imposed: - Inability to travel to see my parents in Florida - Not going into my office - Not meeting with my friends in person (many of them have left Ithaca) - Wearing KN95 masks, which are uncomfortable - Having to wear a mask and turn on my air purifiers when I turn on the forced air heating system in my apartment
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
The pandemic is affecting my life right now because my daughter comes home from school much much earlier than before (she only spends 2 hours and a half at school). She comes home and eats the food the school provides (because I am on my computer, preparing for class at 1:00). She has stopped playing with her toys and really into her ipad. She and that ipad are attached like I am to my phone. I feel sad for her because she is not at school and her afterschool place where she can play outside and freely with other kids. She is very social. Before the pandemic, she never used to be on her device/s.
February 18, 2021
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Well, when I saw the full page article in the New York Times about this Pandemic Journaling Project I almost jumped for joy. We are all being listened to! Our suffering and thoughts and fears are being recognized! One of the things about this project that really amazes me is that people all over the world who come from so many different backgrounds in so many different circumstances are experiencing the same feelings. I feel heard and comforted. Thank you!
February 18, 2021
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¿De que manera el coronavirus le está afectando su vida en este momento? Cuéntenos sus experiencias, sensaciones/emociones, y pensamientos.
Hola, aquí sigo, cansada estoy muy cansada y con un sentimiento de agobio hastío, con una rabia de ver como las personas somos tan mierdas tan egoístas, ver como seguimos en mi ciudad con la alza de contagios y enfermedades y cada vez que voy para mi casa paso por un restaurante bar y está lleno, como si estuviéramos en una situación normal, gente en la calle... trabajo en una institución educativa y veo como definitivamente el sistema educativo en México no está preparado para una transición como esta... escuelas privadas tratando de sobrevivir por que la gente no entiende que aunque se esté en linea las clases se siguen dando, los maestros se están partiendo la madre para sacar esto a flote y la gente sigue siendo egoísta... los corporativos siguen siendo egoístas y definitivamente esto está sacando lo peor de todo mundo... ya no aguanto pero sigo en pie.... estoy de verdad AGOTADA física y mentalmente....
February 19, 2021