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One obstacle I've faced in the past week has been not getting outside as much as I used to. To keep myself busy and accountable in quarantine I have been running one or two miles every day or every other day to try to give myself something to do and keep myself from going stir crazy. With the weather getting more and more cold and the rain in the past week, I haven't been able to go outside as much and exercise as much as I would have liked. I think this could potentially be an issue with a lot of people as being outside and being with nature has been one constant thing for most people. However, with the cold months moving in, it's hard to be outside without a coat and almost impossible for me personally to run in the cold as my asthma is triggered by both exercise and cold air. I'm worried to see what will come in the coming weeks with the election looming and people going crazy and cooped up in their houses. I hope everyone will just stay safe.
November 2, 2020
November 1, 2020 I have not ever been this late in making a journal entry before, but I have been stressed this week. I am well aware of the end of the month, and I have been out of work for a month. It seems so wrong to get upset about not having a job when so many more people have been out of work for so much longer. I have been looking for a way to work from home, but it seems that my hometown may end up experiencing a lack of service from AT&T, the only real service provider out here. Not that it is making much difference at the moment. You see, my computer equipment is limited and aging rapidly with the introduction of a new iPhone next week. I also have problems with lack of training and licensure for some work from home jobs. So much for finding a job over the internet quickly. If that wasn’t enough, I received a call from my aunt in Houston. She is one of the few blood relatives that I have left, so every time that I get to speak to her is precious, especially since she is over 90 and in assisted living. The home where she lives has been making fantastic efforts to keep her safe, but they cannot slow the march of time. When her heart started giving her real problems last week and she fainted and fell, she was in the hospital almost immediately. Visiting her became a real priority for me. I haven’t seen her in over a year, and she is due to go into heart surgery tomorrow. I felt I needed to see her before the surgery in case something happened. That’s when I found out how sad the state of affairs in my own area is. In four surrounding counties, there is no place that does COVID testing for free. One pharmacy that is listed on the state health department website just charged a neighbor $80 for the privilege of being screened through them. I began looking into options for getting screened myself when I found that the area has no testing to speak of. I was lucky that a visit to the hospital website had a quick prescreen questionnaire and a notice that one visitor per day was allowed after the visitor had their temperature taken. Even though I had called my aunt ahead of time to reserve my 45 minute visit yesterday, I was still stopped because the visitors log said she had already had one visitor that day. I had to plead for time, explaining that I drove three hours to get there. I would have been happy with them minutes. Thankfully, they had moved her to another room, so the log was not accurate. And all that computer service/communications is sure? It got dicey when I found out that my local gas station no longer accepts the gas card that I have. WOW! The neighbors came through again by pointing me to other stations that work.
November 2, 2020
This is a photo taken from the Clinton-Southworrh ferry on the way home from a Saturday spent on Whidbey Island. We got outside, breathed fresh air, collected rocks and sea glass, ate pizza, had ice cream, got exercise and spent quality time as a small family unit + dogs. This is the Halloween blue moon that capped off our satisfying day together. Life is all about the small things that feed your happiness and make you feel content.
November 2, 2020
Creo que las cosas no seran lo mismo, la gente le dará mas prioridad a la salud. Se sentirá extraño salir al mundo para quienes respetaron la cuarentena y las habilidades sociales se pierden. Habra temor de contagio o sensación de que algo no esta bien. Considero que la pandemia nos dejo una fuerte lección como seres humanos y es sobre que aun con todos los avances que hemos conseguido para mejorar nuestra vida, no podemos controlar todo, siempre habrá cosas que no podremos controlar. Tambien demuestra la fragilidad como especie que muchas veces la dejamos de ver por estar sumergidos en nuestra rutina. Todo lo que conocemos puede cambiar en un instante.
November 2, 2020
Happiness for me comes from staying in the moment. Happiness comes from being surrounded by the people I love and breathing. Happiness is not something that comes easy to our lives during a time like this, but cherishing the moments when it does is so important.
November 3, 2020
In recent times, we have been cut off from most of our physical interactions and face to face conversations with people. Luckily with social media and the internet, we can connect virtually with many of these people and talk to people worldwide. This past week I have interacted with friends from across the world in a group chat, a person from Norway, Australia, Germany, South America, and across the United States. We all had completely different experiences from each other, but we connect back during a pandemic to offer our support and show interest in each other's lives. What was most striking when talking with these different people was that I saw completely different views on the pandemic and how it was directly related to one's culture. In Australia, a friend told me that they don't even wear masks anymore, as Australia's cases have been extremely low for a long time. Good responses from the government and the citizens have led to more comfort and less anxious life than in many places across the world. We were surprised when she said that they do not wear masking; it was almost unfathomable, unheard of; but when she described that it wasn't necessary, we understood. Listen to people's stories about COVID can bring us closer to people, but at the same time draw us apart, knowing we are living two completely different lives and worlds.
November 3, 2020
Unfortunately, the Covid-19 Cases have broken a record in a day of 100k cases. People are normally attending parties and social events without taking precautions to the pandemic like its not still a thing. I hope things can die down so we can participate in sports just like the rest of the country. It's Extremely stressful watching everybody else get to do their thing while we're watching from the sidelines.
November 3, 2020
I had a coronavirus scare this week. I thought I had been exposed to it, and had to take two tests to determine if I was positive or negative. Thank God I was negative. I realized how much anxiety comes along with knowing this virus is out there and killing Americans everywhere. You really have to stay safe and wear a mask.
November 3, 2020
In this past week, there were increased protocols at work to prevent the spread of COVID-19. We are now to wear masks at all times when in the building. In addition, we are encouraged to work from home as much as possible and avoid coming in. Unfortunately, my program does not have the necessary equipment to do so. We would need printers and fax capability from home. We have been issued laptops and scanners, but that is all we have. In addition, our work is based on actual paper files that cannot leave the office as they are locked securely.We cannot bring the files home to work on them. All file activity has to be completed in the office. I am still bothered by the sense of loneliness that has wrapped itself around me like a cold, wet blanket. The office is like a ghost town. I didn't realize how much I looked forward to the interactions with clients, prospective clients, doing outreach and being out in the community. I was permitted back on the Federal campus to drop off donations of shampoo and toothpaste, but cannot go into any of the residential programs where I used to do outreach. I feel that the rapport I build with clients that I don't see face to face is lacking. I am easily irritated. I actually swore (loud enough for someone to come out of the volunteer office) when I found that the cleaners emptied the fridge on my floor a week early, and I lost some cheese, fruit, and a lunch box since they pitch everything when they do it. The printer jamming, other technology not working, phone calls and conferences eating up time that I need to put together files and keep up with clients are other irritations. Each week, it seems like they want us to record a new piece of data about our work. We had to learn a brand new system for employee reimbursements. The FEDS sends out new requirements and decisions, expanding the work we do to support Federal social workers when they make twice the salary that we do...What do I do with these irritations? Sometimes I vent. Sometimes I reach for something salty or something sweet. This journal is a new way to vent or process what is happening. My church used to host a Thanksgiving Dinner where we got the turkey, mashed potatoes, chicken tenders and gravy from Popeye's, and people provided the rest. I was the coordinator for the last 4 years. This year, they decided to have a restaurant host it, with COVID precautions. I am ambivalent about going. I think that we will be back in a lockdown by then. The numbers aren't going down anytime soon. I also don't know that I want to expose myself to a large group of people who are all eating (you can't eat with a mask on :)). My neighbor is thinking about a Friendsgiving. That might be more manageable. Socially distanced and with windows open for ventilation... We cancelled the family reunion we have around the Fourth of July. I have 1 relative in Illinois. The closest relatives (relationally) are in Michigan. I will not be traveling outside the state of Illinois anytime soon. That would mean that I have to self-isolate for 14 day before returning to work. It's all the uncertainty. I don't know from one day to the next if I can even go into the office to work. When I work from home, I can't print. I also have to keep moving my cat off my lap so I can type. I don't have the space to spread out or access to the files that I have in the office. Add to that uncertainty, the upcoming Election Day... Uncertainty over what level of chaos will ensue. Will we resemble a third world country with unrest, armed soldiers, and a leadership that refuses to transfer power gracefully or peaceably? That of course, assumes that there is regime change and timely results. I limit my exposure to Media. I try to cook healthy meals. I am going to the chiropractor weekly. I limit my exposure to groups of less than 30 socially distanced. I have yet to go outside for walks. The gym is open but I am hesitant to go. Church is open as well, but there is an average of 100 people there so that is out of the question... There is no more garden work to be done, just planning for next year. I need to schedule a screening and a yearly physical. I still don't see a dentist that is open for routine work yet. And with numbers rising, not sure if that will happen anytime soon. I am feeling really shaggy and in need of a haircut. At least I have my weekly meetings to look forward to. I am fortunate. I have a job with good benefits. My housing is not in jeopardy.strong>A dear friend asked when I thought we would be past most of the pandemic precautions. My response was "depending on the vaccine availability and efficacy, as well as other preventative measures, probably 2022. I think we are in for another 8 rough months at least.
November 3, 2020
I think in the past the United States was a global leader when it came to solving crises and world problems. Other countries would turn to the US for guidance and help because normally we had things in order. However, this time around, the US is doing terrible when it comes to solving COVID-- it just keeps getting worse and worse. Instead of looking up to the United States people around the world feel sorry for us and look at our government in absolute horror. It's embarrassing and I'm horrified myself.
November 3, 2020
Como a la mayoría de los que conozco, y desconocidos de las redes, tengo miedo de lo que sucederá el próximo año. Se que aún tengo cierta esperanza guardada para continuar con mis planes, incluyendo mi graduación, pero aún me desconcierta no poder completarlo como me habría gustado que fuera; ver una vez más a mis compañeros de generación y tomarme una foto de recuerdo en mi Alma mater. Temo por la salud de mis familiares y por la mía de igual forma.
November 3, 2020
Almost every time I ask someone how they're doing, the response I get is a "aha" followed by a sarcastic "I'm good" or "I'm chillin" or if they're really down, "I'm doing alright." It feels like everyone, for one reason or another, is going through so much right now, and we don't really know how to deal with it anymore. For me this week especially, I've been confronted with a moral conflict. My job as an RA started to get easier, but that was only because I started to let things slide that I knew I shouldn't. I'm caught in this position where, I could choose to enforce the COVID guidelines, risk being isolated from non-RA students and get looks of contempt from people that are just trying to have a some semblance of a college experience. Or, I could choose to let things slide, be a "homie" and risk putting my job or people's health on the line. But no one's been getting sick. And they're pushing the boundaries so hard. Just this week I heard there were at least 3 parties going on for Halloween, and I bet there's probably more. But because they're pushing so hard, and no one's getting sick, I start to wonder if I'm being too harsh. It's my job to report when I see COVID guideline regulations, but the minute I do that I turn into a police. Instead, I had decided to start letting things slide, and as soon as I did I was allowed to be a student again. I started having genuine interactions with the students and I was able to build community. But then I was reminded that, these students aren't just interacting with each other. Now, I've heard a lot of people say "I don't really care if I get COVID, I just don't want to give it to my [parents/loved ones]" and because those people aren't here, we can "do whatever we want' at our own risk. But my teacher reminded me of the handful of staff members that the students come into contact with (professors, staff, etc.) that do have to go home to their loved ones and are scared. I personally don't have any in-person classes, but a lot of the freshmen have at least one if not more. Not only that, but I personally was reminded just how deadly this virus can be, and I'm scared that if we keep letting things slide it could end really bad. Every time I start to let things slide for my own mental well being I am reminded I can't, or I shouldn't. And I'm lost. I'm 19 years old. But the job of keeping the campus safe has fallen on our shoulders. I've become a parent, a policeman, and everything but a sophmore. The best part is, this is just one job I have. I'm still a person, a student, I still have a job outside of my university. I run clubs and orgs. I'm trying to get good grades in my classes. Almost none of my friends are here and I don't have my family either. I am alone, and I don't have the power it make it any better for myself. So when I say "aha, yeah I doing great," it's cause this sucks. And as much as I have my ups and downs, when it gets bad it just keeps getting worse. But we can't really do much about it. I'm sorry that this couldn't be more positive. I hope you, whoever you are, have a good Halloween.
November 3, 2020
Early this week I took my camera and went to a stroll after work to Riverside park. I noticed that there wasn't anybody there obviously because of covid. But then I realized that I was able to take certain pictures because of covid. I noticed as a freelance photographer that creativity opened another door for me due to covid, this shot was when I was walking towards the park and noticed there was no-one in the frame and I came up with an idea to take a picture to create one.
November 3, 2020
In this week’s pandemic journal reflection, I wrote about the impact of the pandemic on this year’s election. To be specific, mail in voting. This unprecedented way of voting is bringing doubts, and questioning the integrity of the election. Hence, the current president, Donald Trump, is willing and able to inspire violence over the election result. This is frightening, and anxious, because the last thing we want during this pandemic is political violence. Trump is a president who encourages violence over peace, division over unity. Without a doubt, he justified his presidential actions as patriotic. According to CBS Evening News, Cities across U.S. bracing for possible Election Day violence and unrest. As a result, businesses are taking extra precautions to protect their business if there is any looting and vandalism. New York City, one of the greatest city in the world, is preparing for the worse, and hoping for the best because this year’s election is unpredictable. For that reason, my uncle advised me to stay home this entire week
November 3, 2020
It's going to be a rough week here in the US of A. Hang in there everyone -- and VOTE!
November 3, 2020
Nothing again has really changed. It is Election Day US. I am avoiding the news, baking cookies, waiting to hear if I got a job or not. Its feels like everywhere outside my apartment is on fire and I just have to stay inside in order to stay sane.
November 3, 2020
Everyone I know, even outside the US, is feeling pretty frantic about the US election and how awful it will be for the world if the current president gets elected.
November 4, 2020
Again I find myself in the solitude of the farm and wondering. I love the light at sunset this time year and in the craziness leading up to the election it seemed especially peaceful to be an observer at this moment. A cow with no worries gently grazing as the last gasp of sunshine fades. The cloudy gray sky hints at the weather change coming, as it will despite the spike in the number of cases, despite our wanting it to be over, despite wanting an effective cure, despite wanting an effective vaccine, despite wanting to be able to hug friends and family again, despite wondering if this trip to the grocery store will prove fatal, despite wondering if conspiracy theories could be true, despite wondering if someone I care about may succumb, despite not being ready for snow and cold, despite trying to figure out where the summer went and why autumn flew by...despite wondering why this year is so not what I expected it to be... and yet, there is a stillness, and a beauty, and a sense of calm, and a feeling of serenity as I lean on the fence and watch the shadows lengthen.
November 4, 2020
This past week I started reading my umpteenth book that is politically related. Many of my electives while majoring in painting in Boston were all taken in political science. Surprise! It was a turbulent time in the late 60’s early 70’s. Wexwere politically active. I retained my active respinse - often demonstrating to “save the arts in MA” “pink hats with 400,000 in NYC, yelling f—-k Nixon on the MA Statehouse steps. No ine was pepper sprayed on the Statehouse lawn that spring day in 1970. What could I do this year with the pandemic? I voted by depositing my ballot in the town ballot box weeks ago. I am netvous thinking about all the guns and amunition in CT at yhe start of the pandrmic. So my sign? VOTE psinted from old student canvases left behind - VOTE and think of those who need support from our government. My statexis overlooked - not those “important” states. I stay informed and nowcI may pray as today in the election, November 3rd. The background of each painting is blood red oil paint. We are hemorrhaging lives in this country. I end all correspondence Stay Safe!!!
November 4, 2020
I bought a car, which usually would be a very exciting thing but because of the pandemic it has been very stressful.I don’t currently have a car, which makes getting to car dealerships difficult - many public transportation options are limited and take too long, especially when I only have maybe a day here and there to go test drive a car, which means Uber for every. Single. Trip. Especially when every exposure to another person could mean I’m SOL. In addition, it seems like a lot of cars have been getting more expensive as the pandemic goes on, which is a challenge because my finances have gotten more challenging as the pandemic progresses. But I finally did it! I thought it would just take the morning but it took the whole day and I had to call in an emergency day off at work, but it’s finally done and I don’t have to stress about it any more. And I love my new car!! I took it to the COVID testing clinic I’ve been working at on Saturdays, and my transit time was cut by 70%! Because I didn’t have a car before this, it meant going essentially nowhere outside of walking distance during the pandemic, as I’ve been trying to avoid public transit. But now I can go anywhere, anywhere I want! I think having that freedom is worth the stress it took to get here. I’m hoping to take it for another drive next weekend. I’ve been stressed about the election tonight. I’ve been trying to cut down on my alcohol consumption but tonight I got myself some wine to calm down and I’m just going to try to pretend it will all be okay. If Biden doesn’t win, I honestly don’t know what to do. Trump treats the pandemic like nothing,which is absolutely infuriating as a scientist who understands disease transmission, because if he stepped back and did nothing, let states dictate public health individually, we might be in a better position than where we are now all of his misinformation and anti-masking. So many people are tired and he’s done nothing to encourage people to continue being careful - if he is not removed from office I’m worried the damage he’s caused won’t ever heal. I don’t know if I can handle the level of divisive rhetoric of the last four years any longer. I’ve lost friends and family due to this President. But to be honest, Trump didn’t do much more than encourage and expose how half of America really thinks. All I can say is that Dr Anthony Fauci is my hero. I wish Fauci only the best. Please let tonight go according to the polls and let us turn a new page and have an actual leader for the country again.
November 4, 2020