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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

Almost every time I ask someone how they're doing, the response I get is a "aha" followed by a sarcastic "I'm good" or "I'm chillin" or if they're really down, "I'm doing alright." It feels like everyone, for one reason or another, is going through so much right now, and we don't really know how to deal with it anymore. For me this week especially, I've been confronted with a moral conflict. My job as an RA started to get easier, but that was only because I started to let things slide that I knew I shouldn't. I'm caught in this position where, I could choose to enforce the COVID guidelines, risk being isolated from non-RA students and get looks of contempt from people that are just trying to have a some semblance of a college experience. Or, I could choose to let things slide, be a "homie" and risk putting my job or people's health on the line. But no one's been getting sick. And they're pushing the boundaries so hard. Just this week I heard there were at least 3 parties going on for Halloween, and I bet there's probably more. But because they're pushing so hard, and no one's getting sick, I start to wonder if I'm being too harsh. It's my job to report when I see COVID guideline regulations, but the minute I do that I turn into a police. Instead, I had decided to start letting things slide, and as soon as I did I was allowed to be a student again. I started having genuine interactions with the students and I was able to build community. But then I was reminded that, these students aren't just interacting with each other. Now, I've heard a lot of people say "I don't really care if I get COVID, I just don't want to give it to my [parents/loved ones]" and because those people aren't here, we can "do whatever we want' at our own risk. But my teacher reminded me of the handful of staff members that the students come into contact with (professors, staff, etc.) that do have to go home to their loved ones and are scared. I personally don't have any in-person classes, but a lot of the freshmen have at least one if not more. Not only that, but I personally was reminded just how deadly this virus can be, and I'm scared that if we keep letting things slide it could end really bad. Every time I start to let things slide for my own mental well being I am reminded I can't, or I shouldn't. And I'm lost. I'm 19 years old. But the job of keeping the campus safe has fallen on our shoulders. I've become a parent, a policeman, and everything but a sophmore. The best part is, this is just one job I have. I'm still a person, a student, I still have a job outside of my university. I run clubs and orgs. I'm trying to get good grades in my classes. Almost none of my friends are here and I don't have my family either. I am alone, and I don't have the power it make it any better for myself. So when I say "aha, yeah I doing great," it's cause this sucks. And as much as I have my ups and downs, when it gets bad it just keeps getting worse. But we can't really do much about it. I'm sorry that this couldn't be more positive. I hope you, whoever you are, have a good Halloween.