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Think about the people closest to you. Tell us about how the coronavirus has affected them, and their life.
It's interesting because my family is split across the world right now because my mom happened to travel to Senegal right before the pandemic started and has been stuck there since March just like I was stuck in the US since March as well. I've thought about her and my father plenty since the start of the pandemic mainly because they are more at risk from coronavirus and because they've been separated from one another for 7 months now. I feel like I've focused enough on negatives today though, so instead, I want to talk about the positive things that have occurred due to their separation. They work really well together so it's been fascinating to hear how they've been managing their lives alone, like how my dad has learned how to cook things that he's never cooked before and is packing up the house by himself which is usually what my mom used to do when we moved. On my mother's side, she started a business in Senegal while being stuck there which is something she probably would not have been able to do if she came back to Thailand which is awesome.
October 28, 2020
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Talk about any new groups or communities you’ve joined since the pandemic began.
I joined a new social justice group as though to scap myself back together from the hostile work environment from a previous social justice organization that I dedicated 10 years of my life to. I feel bittersweet as I nostalgically look back at what I have done for them, how I have grown and had to leave to flourish in a new community And so, here I am now, reconnecting with a religious church, with an upcoming social justice group formed back in June 2020 and yet I feel like I can do so much more with my own curriculum development as a doctoral student. So much within the unknown and as my eyes struggle to stay awake from exhaustion, tears, and tiredness that drag me down as I push myself to complete more. Social media has reinforced the notion that I will eternally be enough to never be enough. The constant internal battle I have with myself, about having to maintain my femininity by being think, to idealize marriage and my own body's capabilities to have children.. I find myself lost in the social constructs within our society I am stuck between a red and blue pill just like the matrix. Only this time, the blue pill is a hoax like our president; made of something that can fill me up and be processed through to continue the lie we all live in. The red pill is the only option to sustain my bloodflow as I learn new things about myself.
October 28, 2020
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Talk about about what it's like to use social media during this pandemic.
I have used social media alot during the pandemic for my art practice. I am a visual designer/art director by profession but also a practicing studio artist. I have used Instagram for the daily sketches I have been posting that are part of the Virus Series I have been doing. Now that I have been doign it for 200+ days I feel like I have a responsibility to others to continue this practice until this pandemic is over and we go back to a more normal state of being.
October 28, 2020
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Do you feel like your life is going well right now? Has the pandemic changed this? If so, tell us about it.
This week my life really definitely doesn't feel like a good one because we are quarantining waiting for results of the covid test we got yesterday at the pictured test center. I am really struggling with not being able to go outside and how depressing that feels.
October 28, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
A local synagogue ( we've been there before) had a swastika painted on the door yesterday. Feels like a scary time to be a Jew in the US. Or the world in general. Super satisfying to use a new drain tool to get the bathroom sink unclogged and wishing it could be an omen that ugly scum can be removed (from office). Things like this are much more interesting to me since the pandemic since we're always home. Ugly incident where restaurant across the street which has been making really unacceptable levels of noise since they began outdoor dining, has a super loud party on a Tuesday night and when I call to complain, the owner lets the birthday girl curse at me, taunt me, accuse me of being racist (how would she even know there is a difference in race between us when talking on the phone?) and hang up on me. Hard to sleep afterwards. We are all really on edge but it's still not okay what happened. 10/21/20 One of our apartment building neighbors from the new list wants to set up a Zoom call to introduce ourselves to each other! How sweet. It's very helpful to hear from them too that not only are we not the only ones being bothered by the restaurant noise but one of our neighbors wants to move out of the building because it's like having a party next door every night. I think her window faces the restaurant more directly. High school friend on Facebook says her healthy 85-year-old father has died suddenly of covid. He was a lovely man and a staunch philanthropist and community leader. Quite a good constructive conversation with the co-owner of the restaurant across the street which ends on a friendly note. Really hoping it will lead to actual improvement. I feel powerful for having pursued the matter further. He apologized profusely for last night. A difficult part of this is that he is white and the loud angry restaurant patron mentioned that she was Black, and I have to wonder from the profuseness of his apology whether he made her uncomfortable celebrating at his restaurant and so the whole blast of anger between her and me had something to do with white spaces and how Black people have to decide whether to try to suppress parts of themselves to be acceptable there -- was she being extra loud to try to take the space that was subtly unwelcoming to her? I don't know this restaurant guy but I still wish I could have figured out a way to talk to him about that, and I feel ashamed. Our local pharmacy is closing and the nearest one will now be really difficult for me to walk to given my usual pain level. It's probably because they weren't getting enough business in the pandemic. So touching and beautiful that the pope made clear today that he supports gay unions. What a lovely surprise. 10/22/20 Noticing today how much I love that S is always home with me, working from home, hardly any time away from home. I will miss all this sweet togetherness whenever it ends. It is so bananas insane that the President had the same password for his Twitter account as he gives out for wifi at rallies. And no 2-factor authentication. That doesn't bode well for security of anything else he touches. Like the nuclear football. Crying over a video of Biden comforting the son of the Parkland heroic shooting victim, holding him and kissing him on the head. I think all of us are that boy right now -- we're not okay, Biden! Please rescue us! And also, what a beautiful vision, a politician being so genuinely nurturing. I miss President Obama with tearful intensity. L, the same person who made the hilarious ballot box video, went to the ER this morning because she has a painful swelling in her throat and her covid test results from 3 days ago still aren't back so her doctor doesn't want her coming in there, and meanwhile her daughter can't go to school... Our good friend C got her first acting job since the pandemic. She wrote, attaching a picture of herself with a bag of surgical masks: "First booking since Covid. Luckily, it’s a Netflix show and by all accounts, they have the strictest policies to keep everyone safe. Instead of a fitting, I had a pcr test a couple of days ago. I was asked to stay extra vigilant between booking and shooting. Had to download an app with daily questionnaires on my health. Another PCR test when I arrived. Mountains of documents all sent to me virtually. No more paper scripts or sides. A long list of what I can expect on set was sent immediately after my booking. A large bag of PPE was given to me when I arrived. Crew wears tracking watches for contact tracing. I’m only allowed to take off my mask in my dressing room, in the make up chair, and when filming. It feels like this is the only show shooting on the entire lot. All in all, I feel much safer than a trip to smart and final. This is the new normal for a while." Because of my identity having been stolen (for covid relief fraud) and some scary notifications lately that people in India and other countries are trying to get into my Google account, we spent a bunch of money getting two physical security keys and now I'm protected by Advanced Protection -- nobody can sign in to my account on a new device without one of these keys. Now need to make sure the physical keys are in separate and convenient enough places! At the beginning of the pandemic I was terrified the supply chain for everything would fail. So far no,but it makes me anxious that our Amazon subscribe and save (which we do feel guilty about using given their atrocious labor practices but we can't go to stores!) has begun to cancel more of our subscriptions, last month the cat treats, bamboo supplement and Allerpet cat dander treatment. We need those things and I'm anxious that we won't be able to get them reliably. Attended the pet loss grief support group in Michigan via Zoom and really got a lot out of it this time, cried hard over our lost cat and was able to comfort a person who just put her cat to sleep last week. "He thought he was going to wake up with me like normal. And he was still so alert and purring when I took care of him." I kept crying about that all day, remembering how agonizing that was for us, putting our beloved baby to sleep when she still might have been able to have good days. Comforted myself about thinking about how guilty we might have felt if we had seen she was having terrible days, instead of having them looming. Our goodbye with her was so loving and sweet, and we couldn't have had that beautiful last few days if we hadn't acted before she was in agony. I miss her so painfully and feel a grief related to bonding more with our current cat, as well as the climate of loss and death in this pandemic era. I think I saw this recently on Twitter: "Why do we have to love those who we will lose? Because there's nobody else to love." Shiva minyan for R who I barely know. Because of Zoom there are a lot of random people there who don't understand what shiva is and I explained it for them and gently urged them to be quiet and listen to R. I will really miss being able to attend so many shiva minyanim when we go back to having them in person. Also felt worried afterwards that I had talked too much, just second guessing myself. Baked pluot cobbler from the paper-plate-scribbled recipe B gave us and thinking of her with love, wishing she would come out of her coma. I watched the debate to the extent I could stand it, and I'm so glad it's over, but hard to sleep afterwards. Really preoccupied with wanting to eat irrational things and feeling so anxious about whether the lunatic might win again. It would be such a catastrophe. He already has been. 10/23/20 Such a cliche nightmare last night, I have a part in a play but I've never rehearsed it and don't know my lines and they expect me to have come up with a song and someone in the cast has covid! And I'm trying to get there but my cat is in the car and might get out... Delightful talk with my aunt. I asked her, in these scary times, is there anything else you would want to have said to me if G-d forbid we never got to speak again? And we thanked each other for how close we are and told each other some of the things that make our relationship so precious (honesty, how we get each other, how we can say anything). J's daughter and her husband seem to have a reinfection of covid, oh no! As if that family hasn't been through enough! 10/24/20 Sweet restful shabbos evening eating pluot cobbler in honor of B and thinking about her. E's bat mitzvah. We wouldn't have been able to attend if it weren't over Zoom because I couldn't travel that far, so it was very moving and lovely to be with them and see them present her with her homemade tallit and see her burst immediately into tears -- loved having her be so open about her emotions. She spoke eloquently about how the trauma of having to leave her birth family left her with challenges, and noticed that Noah and the animals on the ark had to leave so much behind and must have grieved so deeply for everything they lost. Bawled our eyes out. Also felt jealous of A and C for being honored during the service. Once we were closer to that family and would have been honored, ouch. Just before lunchtime, thunderbolt news: R, C's girlfriend, one of S's bandmates, is positive for covid. S was just there a week ago for band practice, out in the yard. She probably didn't catch it until after he was there, thinks she got it from a gathering with coworkers out in their yard to eat pizza (they also go out to the grocery store to do their own shopping unlike us), but this is definitely the nearest it's come to us. The biggest risks we have taken are S going to pick up and ship packages inside a UPS store (twice now), going inside his practice space building, and going to C's yard for outdoor, distanced band practice, and I am really stunned and scared by this proximity to us. I hope they'll be okay! We have sent them a food delivery gift card. But of course, as human minds do, ours turn to what this means for us. This could really put the kibosh on band practice for S, which is part of what keeps him going. By the time they're out of quarantine the weather could start being more unreliable, really can't practice in the rain outside. Now we are debating, should we get tested ourselves? I look into testing at home and find in the act of exploring I have accidentally finalized an order for at home tests from Safeway to be delivered tomorrow, no payment has been collected or anything, but if we want to go through with this it would be almost $300 and we don't know whether our insurance will reimburse any of it. That might be too much for just a peace of mind/knowing we don't have to quarantine test. Meanwhile sent a message to our doctor's office asking if we even need to get tested. 10/25/20 Didn't sleep well, bad pain, nightmares about our cat swallowing a needle (eek!!). To my surprise, the doctor's office answers yes, we must quarantine and get tested. So we've made appointments tomorrow for what we hope can be a drive-through test (it's definitely outside at a tent, one way or the other). What really helps with quarantine this morning is the Window Swap website -- I luck into one with a snowy window and watch it for quite a while and tell myself it's too snowy to go outside (it actually doesn't ever snow in our climate). We just filmed and submitted our own window recently and hope it gives someone else a similar feeling sometime. C posting about her pod and how they are getting ready to have a first birthday party for little R makes me feel sad and left out. Wish we could have a pod. 10/26/20 It was exciting to go outside of our apartment today even though it was to go get the first in-person covid test I've had (I sent in swab and blood samples to a public health study before). I haven't been out since Friday morning, generally rest inside on Shabbat and started quarantine Saturday night. It's a beautiful bright day! I was a bit nervous because the instructions for the appointment at the mobile testing center were vague ("this site accommodates both drive-through and walk-up appointments"). Because of my physical condition, when I go somewhere new, I don't know how well it's going to go for me -- I can't stand in a line for very long (I can usually walk around longer than I can stand still, but that isn't always feasible and especially might not work for a socially distanced line, which I have never yet stood in because we don't go shopping). I brought my cane and the kinds of pain relief I would be able to use in that situation (heat patch mainly, which I'm not using much of these days), and I tried to call the front office as the appointment drew near to confirm that I'd be able to stay reclined in the car, but couldn't get through on the phone, so both of us were feeling a little worried. I was also remembering the time I got swabbed for swine flu in I think 2009, which was a pretty uncomfortable test -- they really jammed the swab way far up into my sinuses. Wasn't looking forward to having that done again, and was a bit concerned that S would start having a dramatic nosebleed from something being stuck so far up his nose. We pondered before we left about the Nozin disinfectant stuff we usually put around the edge of our noses before leaving the apartment (something we've been doing since late 2019 after reading about it in the NY Times) and decided it's totally contraindicated when going to have one's nose swabbed for virus -- funny that they wouldn't instruct us to be careful about not putting anything in our noses before the test because I would think that would matter! I enjoyed being on the freeway on the way there because I haven't been on the freeway since we took a nature walk in July during our "pandemic vacation" time off at home. This tent testing center is set up in the parking lot of a store where we used to shop for Passover every year, since closed. The test was anticlimactic, a big relief -- we pulled in, they confirmed who we were, and the nurse practitioner came around to each window to do the swab. S barely felt it, for me it was a little unpleasant, maybe because I have to be reclined to be in the car and the angle made it go further in? I felt like I was either going to sneeze or burst out inappropriately laughing as she tickled the far reaches of my sinuses with prolonged swirly thoroughness, because honestly it felt a little violating, but I did neither, and then we were finished. We will get test results by Fri and we need to quarantine until then. Our cat was confused and unhappy about our both being gone for about an hour. She's not used to that these days! Meanwhile the sociopath in chief is poised on the verge of making the Supreme Court 6-3 full of right wing zealots who will kill people and destroy their lives for many years to come. It raises my blood pressure so much and I feel so helpless. That's it -- the vote is done and they confirmed her. I'm just sick with helpless rage and dread. She will go start destroying our lives tomorrow. My friend T just got married this weekend and their wedding could be ruled illegitimate by this right wing extremist they have confirmed tonight. 10/27/20 Trouble sleeping, so upset about Amy Coney Barrett. In RBG's seat! In RBG's quarters! As if she were qualified, a person who has never argued a case in front of the Supreme Court! Glee from the right, GOP account tweeting that she was confirmed with "Happy birthday Hillary," (so petty and juvenile), the fact that they held ANOTHER unmasked please-super-spread event to celebrate even though they know the event to introduce her was a super spreader!, and just dreading the way this packed court will try to steal the election and deny rights to women, people of color, LGBTQIA+ people... During the night our sweet cat snuggled up so close to me, I don't know if I was clutching her with a special intensity or it's just getting a little chillier or what, but she was putting her little feet in the crook of my elbow as I held her, and it was so reassuring and helped me sleep some. Hate not being able to go out for a walk until we get our covid test results. H in Kenya tells me they get covid test results in 24 hours. Ours could take 4 days.
October 28, 2020
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Talk about about what it's like to use social media during this pandemic.
I do find myself looking at Facebook more, not necessarily posting more. I like finding the latest memes about Trump and his unbelievable lies. I like seeing my friends who are not near me, checking in on them during such terrible times. I still need to practice unplugging when it becomes too much, too overwhelming. Politics and pandemics do not mix well on Facebook and they certainly don't mix well for my mental health. At this point, I simply need to back off.
October 28, 2020
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Additional Material
I have been figuring out how to use my phone to express myself a bit and this is a picture I made, yearning for life and joy to come back to this bleak scary moment.
October 28, 2020
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Think about something really important that happened to you this week, and tell us about it.
Seeing a huge Trump rally in a neighboring town really put the fire in my belly to get back on my feet and get organizing again. I've been overwhelmed between work, distance learning for my son, and just the general heightened level of difficulty and stress that the pandemic has brought, and it has led to me just having a lot less energy and time for DSA meetings and organizing work. But you bet your ass I was at my meeting that Sunday. And I have some N95 masks now, so It's feeling less reckless to get out there and organize. We've got to grind these people into the ground so far they never come back.
October 28, 2020
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If you feel your mental health has changed since the pandemic started, talk a bit about how, and why.
i don't feel very stable, mentally. i'm always angry. i thought i should go see a therapist but i don't have the money. i carry with me heavy loads of lava, if i don't find what to do with them i'll melt myself.
October 28, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
my elder daughter is in the 1st grade. after two weeks in school, the lockdown (is israel) drew her back home. she was very sad that her promised school was taken from her so soon, and she cried a lot. school continued through the zoom - the school sent the parents a very impressive timetable with 3-4 classes a day (40 minutes - 1 hour each) - but not all 6-years-old kids survived this fancy timetable. my daughter didn't. i sat with her for a few hours, and then realized that she doesn't understand anything of what's being said. after the first few experiences, she refused to continue. i saw how much she suffered - it was as if she withered on her chair, she couldn't hold her head up; and she pressed her eyes so hard she almost bruised herself - so i didn't force her to continue. now, a month and a half later, school is about to resume, and i'm worried. i taught her some by myself, as much as i could, but the teacher swept forward, and taught through the zoom reading, writing, and arithmetic, leaving behind all the "zoom-disabled" kids. school now made her a "problematic" student just because she didn't get alone with the zoom. i'm worries that this new sense of inferiority is going to ruin her once-joyous motivation to study.
October 28, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Okay, technically this picture isn't from this week. This was from a worksheet I completed when I was ~6. I wasn't really cocky or a showboat when I was younger. I was the best backstroker in the north east and the second best butterflyer in the country, but I never thought I was actually good until after I quit. I don't really know where that confidence went, that confidence I had when I wrote this. When it seemed things just made sense. I'm not sure why I've been thinking about that so much. Maybe it's the upcoming election, or the recently confirmed supreme court justice (neither of which I've allowed myself to think about for too long or I think I'll implode). Maybe it's being away from my family, and being really on my own for the first time. I feel like now nothing is easy. Maintaining relationships isn't easy. I've always been bad at maintaining relationships, staying in contact, but I'm trying to make more of an effort to do so now. I've reached out to my favorite yoga teacher, and am practicing with her (over zoom) tonight. I've reached out to people I've had fallings out with (although they're not really willing to talk since we don't have the same interests anymore). I'm trying to put in the effort so that things become easy, second nature. Being happy or optimistic isn't easy, so I'm trying. Hopefully it will become easy again.
October 28, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I feel really home sick. I want to hug my mom and dad. I'm worried that something God forbid will happen and that won't ever happen again. I want to hug my grandma. I want to see my siblings and nephews. I want to see my friends. I feel cut off. And I'm unsure when the day will come that I will get to see them. I wonder if I will always be wearing a mask. I wonder if ... 'when I was young, before COVID', is how i will start stories to my children and grandchildren (if/when I have them). Will this ever feel normal? Will I always be mourning my loss? Will I always be wanting to be somewhere I am now cut off from, forever?
October 29, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
nothing much has been happening this week if anything i have been going out a lot more than i was before but that's only because i have to go grocery shopping and help my mother go to her physical therapy. other than that there's nothing much i do i will say i don't have much time to myself or to do things in a way that i want. i also have no privacy during the day so i now stay up when everyone is asleep for a little while so that i have some form or peace.
October 29, 2020
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Talk about what brings you happiness these days.
What brings me happiness these days are my friends. My friends have always been my go-to stress relief, my emotional support, and my source of fun. I do not expressly look for them to supply me with these things, but thats what makes it beautiful. When things come naturally in friendships, especially during a time where things feel so unnatural, then those some friendships just become that much more precious. That is the case with me and mine. I love my friends dearly, and that is never going to change, yet this pandemic has truly brought out a side of us that shows how loving we can really be. I am very appreciative of them.
October 29, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Isolationnnnn. Taking a long time to answer the door for maintenance while I frantically rush to put on a face mask.
October 29, 2020
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Some people have reported that their dreams have gotten more vivid, or that they’ve had an unusually strong sense of God, or felt the presence or heard the voice of departed loved ones—has anything like that happened to you? If it has, tell us about it.
My dreams are often drawn and look real. The people and places remain actual but I see them as drawn by hand.Yesterday, on a facetime birthday (7th) call to CA from CT our granddaughter used some odd app - and she became a black and white drawing of herself - so now my dream seems closer to reality. I am dreaming of crossing a frozen lake (like the oil painting I created after walking across Lake Candlewood) on a bitterly cold day with my husband. I completed this R/T once - vowing never again - and we were fine. In my dream I must once again cross the frozen lake but I am afraid that due to climate change I will break through and die. I feel death is close - not a distant & abstract concept any longer - I must wear a mask in my dream and no virus is lurking on the other side of the lake. I will contract covid only if I remain on this side of the lake. I must cross. I wear my Star of David around my neck and hold hands with my husband. We begin to walk on the ice. Crack crack crack !! Tree stumps stick up, all are dead. This lake is manmade & originally flooded rolling farmland. Crack crack crack! I want to turn back but fear covid. Suddenly my feet slip beneath me as the ice opens in a wide gap. I reach for my husband and we look at each other closely. It is the same glance as the moment several winters ago when at 2 AM, 10th floor of Marriott, Anchorage Alaska a 7.1 earthquake shook our room violently, the hotel was like a ship tossed in violent waves. Miraculously we felt secure simply because we were with one another. CRACK CRACK CRACK I wake up and reach across our bed for my husband’s hand.
October 29, 2020
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Talk about about what it's like to use social media during this pandemic.
I'm worried for my friends who I see on Snapchat who are going to bars and partying. I'm spending too much time on YouTube even though I enjoy it sometimes.
October 31, 2020
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Talk about what is most upsetting or scaring you right now about the coronavirus pandemic.
What scares me most is seeing the utter chaos in the US where I have all my close family and so many friends How can I not worry for them? Here, the situation is bad, too--yet, I don't feel the despair that I do when I think about the USA. At least here there is some semblance of a desire for control and people are not so divided. When I hear the selfish, ignorant and mocking rhetoric coming from Trump and his supporters it makes my blood boil, thinking that their recklessness is putting so many people I love in even greater danger.
October 31, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
ANGER. Re. the New York Times long investigative piece on the Trump-Bolsonaro alliance (a) to get 8,000 Cuban physicians to leave the embattled Indigenous populations of the Amazon; and (b) to defund the Pan American Health Organization which is the most effective and experienced anti-pandemic organization in Latin America. This is one of those things that we, as an educated citizenry, should have been aware of but that slipped under the radar thanks to our enfeebled news media, but also our tendency to protect ourselves from disturbing information and recognitions. I am particularly aggrieved this week about this after having finished a strong article on the Brazilian film, Bacurau, and finding even at the worst in metaphoric recognitions in the reading the film, I underestimated the venality and cruelty of the Trump regime. The attack on Amazonian Indian land rights and general health care (once guaranteed by the Constitution) was an open policy of the Bolsonaro regime, as were the departures of two health ministers in protest against Bolsonaro's promotion of hydroxychloroquine at Trump's encouragement (and supply). But the active dismantlng of health care and pandemic resistance capacity is venality beyond mere corruption (for which both regimes are despised). There is underlying even more dark -- non-conspiracy -- policies routed through our military and Brazil's -- the ideology that all communal land-holdings (such as the Indians') must be be destroyed in favor of individually owned property rights (really!) so as to dispossess the weak through "legal" market tactics; and the apparent intentional dissemination of hybrid-cultural warfare (the destruction of supply chains of verifiable information) in order to create chaos that can be opportunistically taken advantage of by those with the corrupt power means (apparently written into US military manuals taught to Brazilian officer forces). ANXIETY. Of course, it is not just Brazil, but the COVID-19 virus fueling the hysteria (chaos, see above) surrounding the U.S. Presidential elections, which the Republicans are doing their utmost to disrupt through voter suppression in a replay of the Jim Crow backlash against Reconstruction. There is a heartening determination of millions of voters to vote early, but an astounding closeness in the polling with half the American populace cheering Trump on. (Good news from Bolivia which was able to hold an election despite a polarized country.) The COVID-19 rates continue to rise (or perhaps are rising again) -- Massachusetts had 1200 cases again yesterday. Trump has so politicized the wearing of protective masks that one can see crowds without masks bunched together at his political rallies, while others wear masks and socially distance, and the Biden campaign has popularized the drive-in rally. The battle of my virus against your immune system! Among our own friends, a psychiatrist colleague is recovering from a two week but mild case of COVID-19 (he's itching to get back into the hospital); another anthropologist friend lost her father to COVID-19 in India and cannot go to the funeral, just like our American Indian colleague who lost his father a week ago and had to watch the funeral on zoom. Meanwhile. Trump continues to dismantle the government, most recently attempting to take civil service protections away from government employees, and continuing a long term struggle to disempower the prosecutors in the Southern District of New York from pursuing a large-scale gold smuggling operation between Tehran-Ankara-the UAE- and China, in violation of sanctions against Iran. I have no love for the sanctions, but Erdogan's game of enmeshing the Trump regime in its own corruption has been hovering around the Trump administration since day one and General Flynn's work for both Erdogan and Putin. Soon we took will be in the position of the village of Bacurau. INTELLECTUAL NOURISHMENT. Today we had a wonderful 3 hour long Friday morning seminar on the fungibility of ghosts and repressions of painful pasts that are powerfully stirred up by events in the present, from the fear in Gus Dur's efforts to deal with the massacres of 1965 while keeping the "dark forces" at bay, to Charlottesville's calling forth of KKK and Nazi psychodynamics, to exorcisms as benign templates (even when both entertaining and terrifying) for viewing people (hardly entertaining but equally displaced) as intimate traitors and evil maop (ghosts), and such return to U.S. repression as hinted above and pictured allusively in the film Bacurau. How to live responsibly in a world where the forces at play are hidden and the very subject of psychology is a "barred self" unable to discern when it is acting out of haunted displacements. RENEWAL. And yet we live by revenants, pledging to do better and live more justly in their name and in the name of generations to come.
October 31, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
This week, I have thought about how Halloween will work out. Since we are living in such a difficult time right now, it is not possible for us to have such big, crowding events. It seems to me that some people want to go out of their way to go to parties and violate safety regulations ... Because of this, I spent time considering how I am going to be celebrate Halloween. Despite the restrictions we are forced to put up with, I still wanted to celebrate in my own special way. Just yesterday, I received a package from my parents. I had told them two weeks prior that I wanted some snacks that I would actually eat before I have to empty out my room. The box was filled with some of my favorite candy and other goodies. I was very excited. It motivated me to think of further plans for Halloweekend. I spent some time today playing a virtual game of "Clue" ... It was a really fun time for all of us; we enjoyed ourselves very much. I plan to spend the next day eating some candy and watching a Halloween themed movie, after I finish some work. I also bought a ticket to watch a movie for the 29th annual Philadelphia Film Festival since one of my friends is their ambassador this year. I will be watching that this coming Sunday. Celebrating Halloween during the pandemic has given me time to think about other events. Although this crisis has been tough for all of us, we must make the most of the good times. When life gives you lemons, you always have to find a way to make lemonade. For me, coming up with revised ways to celebrate Halloweekend has been a good way to work around the effects of this pandemic. It may not be the most ideal celebration, but it works in a time like this. Now that we only have three weeks left of classes, I am more grateful every day for how far we have come.
October 31, 2020