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This week was watching all the angry hornets fly out of the nest! I was as shocked as any one as the events at the Capital unfolded. It will take time to quiet the buzzing...I believe the nest was kicked one too many times and the swarm that’s been building for awhile was unleashed. I have friends who have been glued to their TVs... I chose not to take that route for my own sanity...when you are shown something a number of times the theory goes you will be desensitized.... I think in this instance too much “information” has created a state of “over-sensitized” for both those inside and outside the nest...one side spilling out and attacking, and the other watching in disbelief with a sadness that left many depressed and unable to sleep. First amendment rights are one thing, and a glorious part of our tradition, but when you hear someone answer “my President told me to”, you’ve got to wonder where it went wrong...
January 23, 2021
This journal has been so cathartic for me. An emotional dump of sorts. And opportunity to “record” life as we know it and as I see it. I am often a week behind, sometimes I don’t know what to say but I keep showing up. I look forward to the day this is all history and that my kids (or grandkids) can feather through the pages (I hope to put it in book form) and they can relive this little piece or big history.
January 23, 2021
These are the masks that I had to sneak away from my 65 yo mom, who grew up with an inherited depression era mentality that will never go away. She put on a new mask in front of me when I asked, but I found these stashed away, and so I’m taking them home with me, because I know just throwing them in the garbage at her house won’t be good enough. She’ll pick them out.
January 23, 2021
My whole entire facebook is full of videos of pleas from medical staff, from people who have lost loved ones etc...and I see people comment and like and share acting as though they have understood that this is horrific and that they should follow the rules, but then go and break the rules just after watching it. I go for my daily exercise around parks and its instantly ruined by the amount of people outside. I do know we need exercise but you wouldn't even know a pandemic was happening. What will it take? What is it actually going to take for people to take this seriously? Is it to make it clear how many thousands of people have lost their lives? Should we have daily debriefs on the news again to really hammer it into people's heads about the rules and for these rules to be enforced? Why aren't we being more strict and actually staying in our homes? I cannot believe that the UK government is even compromising the rules by saying one thing but allowing another thing that contradicts the rules itself. I think it's really pathetic and selfish if people think their freedom is being compromised- we can still be democratic but have enforced strict rules for a small time scale which we should of had way back at the start and maybe it would not have lasted so long. But, that's the problem with the UK isn't it? That we think we have that freedom - because yes we do- but how can you sit there and talk about the greatness and unity of the country that when it actually comes to something like this pandemic everyone has turned out to be selfish and not thinking about the greater good and at a cost of that so many people have lost their lives. And the economy? We literally made up the economy, do you really think we have to go get a burger and a pint to save it? I wish people would see past the lies and see the bigger picture that we need to properly lockdown like NO movement whatsoever because we are the reason it is spreading- how has the UK only NOW closed its boarders and you can only enter with a negative test!? This is not the time to relax even with the vaccine rolling out. People are acting as if this is the new normal which it is not, we are far from anything being normal. And you know know what the craziest thing is, is that I am asking these questions still LITERALLY A YEAR after its all began.
January 24, 2021
I have learned to love working out from home. I tend to work out 4-5 days a week and sometimes in time with my friends via video call
January 24, 2021
Honestly, up until quite recently, [this] project has served as a pretty good substitute for seeing my therapist. It's been a really great tool to say what's on my mind without worrying about somebody judging what I have to say, and having a short period of reflection every week was quite helpful. More recently however, I've been feeling the need to actually speak with a mental health professional, since venting your feelings can only get you so far. Luckily, I just made an appointment for a mental health consultation with my university's student mental health services, and I'm hoping that will connect me with a therapist that takes my new State insurance.
January 24, 2021
Coffee. Twitter (I can't believe I said that--but in this political time, the feeling of being on a team, and the humor--I love it. See Bernie memes.) Music. Laughing at my cat with E. Reading, learning new stuff. Tough question.
January 24, 2021
The coronavirus pandemic has affected my life in the past week. My dad goes grocery shopping to stock up on food. My family has been avoiding crowds. My family also avoids taking public transportation. I miss seeing family and friends. My family has had to cancel travel plans. I plan on traveling in a couple of years. My family only goes out if they need to pick up medicine, go to the doctor, or pick up food for dinner (e.g. pizza every Friday). Quarantine was hard for me at first. I didn't understand why people had to stay home. My parents told me that COVID-19 was starting and everyone around the world has to go on quarantine (lockdown or isolation in other parts of the world). I'm more used to quarantine. I try not to get stressed and have mood swings. I stay calm by deeply inhaling and exhaling. I connect with friends from high school and college on Facebook. I want the world to go back to normal so people can see each other and travel again.
January 24, 2021
My husband and I ring the church bells at an ancient Scottish cathedral. (The six bells there are hung so that their ropes fall in a circle and can be made to sound in mathematical sequences known as "change ringing.") My husband is the "steeplekeeper," in charge of making sure that the bells and their fixtures are in sound condition. Although all bell ringing stopped during the first pandemic lockdown of 2020, we made a trip to the cathedral in June 2020 to check that all was well in the bell tower - mainly a matter of looking for unwanted birds' nests among the bells. The churchyard had been locked up against visitors (the cathedral is a historic monument) and when we arrived, the usually well-groomed lawn was a sea of long grass. It seemed eerie and otherworldly - as if the cathedral and all its life had slipped into an enchanted sleep like the briar wood of Sleeping Beauty. But the heart of our Church of Scotland (Presbyterian) community is really its minister, and he had very effectively moved his services online, integrating live appearances in the church with recordings that the choir made via Zoom. He's done this all year, holding his community together and receiving more online views than he ever had church attendance! My husband and I are not really churchgoers, though in happier times we ring for the service every Sunday, and for weddings all year. This year, when our lockdown eased, we began Sunday ringing again with socially distanced measures in place. And - perhaps because it was such an effort making a 30 mile round-trip to the cathedral and ringing for only twenty minutes - we started attending the socially-distanced church services. This hour-long pause among other people in a long slog of frantic routine with limited contacts seemed an affirmation of life and the spirit of humanity. It helps that our minister preaches a very good sermon, full of humour and a sense of connection to the world. I still keep my spirituality very private, but I realize how much I miss - and really enjoy - that PAUSE, the moment when you can put everything else aside to look inward and upward. Now we are in another hard lockdown. The cathedral was shut for services just before Christmas. The last time the cathedral was used in practice was when my husband and I, with another bell-ringing couple, pealed out the old bells for twenty minutes on Christmas morning: an affirmation of the human spirit and our connection to God. When the current lockdown ends, we will ring the bells again.
January 24, 2021
El apoyo que recibimos provino de la iglesia católica. Llegó un punto en el que las fuentes de trabajo desaparecieron y un familiar, quien es sacerdote, nos puso en la lista de familias para recibir una caja de ayuda en alimentos. La caja nos sirvió bastante, en lo que recibíamos la ayuda que el gobierno entregó a las familias. Entre la caja y la ayuda del gobierno, logramos pasar un tiempo. Luego de esto, no hemos buscado apoyo, ni orientación. Nos hemos mantenido aislados. La Municipalidad de la ciudad tiene centros de apoyo respiratorio, pero no los hemos usado porque no hemos tenido indicios de tener la enfermedad. Toda la orientación proviene de los medios de comunicación y de las redes sociales.
January 25, 2021
Inicié el año muy enferma. Mi hijo y mi madre, al igual que yo, comimos algo contaminado. Ellos lograron recuperarse rápidamente. Yo me compliqué. Me preocupa porque eso prueba que mi sistema inmunológico está deprimido. Pasé tres días muy malos. Ahora, luego de tomar un medicamento, estoy mejor. Además, tuvimos noticias de más personas cercanas muertas por COVID-19. Una señora que era parte de una actividad religiosa y una prima lejana. La primera era una señora mayor y la segunda, tenía una enfermedad renal crónica que requería diálisis. No sobrevivieron. Ambas pertenecían al grupo de alta vulnerabilidad. Es el mismo grupo al que yo pertenezco. No puedo evitar sentir miedo. Así que seguimos reforzando las medidas de prevención: salir solamente por lo necesario, evitar aglomeraciones, no recibir personas ajenas a la familia en la casa, usar mascarilla, lavarnos las manos frecuentemente. Es lo que se puede hacer. Observamos al gobierno en los esfuerzos para comprar la vacuna. Esperamos que lo haga de forma efectiva e invierta el dinero necesario en lugar de robárselo.
January 25, 2021
This week, the pandemic continues to rage in the state where I live. Vaccinations have begun, but the rollout has become a brunt of jokes at the national level. There is a free-for-all for people over 65, and nothing for people under 65, unless they are designated health care workers. Still, this week, for the first time, I took a little breath of relief. A new President has been inaugurated, and he and his team are starting to make substantive changes in the way the country will handle the pandemic going forward. There are new challenges, vaccine supply and worrying new virus variants, and yet it now feels like we might have a fighting chance. I'm sure everything will continue to look worse for a while, but there is hope. After a long time, my family visited the university campus for a long walk with masks on and my daughter went for a bike ride there. It was a great change of pace for us all.
January 26, 2021
The continued effects, the reverberation of something historic that creates tremors surpassing that of the original blast; where the sum is greater than its parts. They say the best art comes out of necessity, and I'm not saying that this pandemic was necessary but what I am saying is that creating goodness out of it is. Taking this tragedy at face value, no thank you would be one ugly mug of a murderer, but taking what we've learned though it and growing from it. The forest gains nutrients from the fallen trees, so let's take a note out of nature's book, and we shall honor the lives of those we've lost and grow towards the sun. This can tend to feel like it's a personal stance about how Covid has directly affected me, where that's the whole problem. We are supposed to do this together, if aliens came down and attacked us we would all be fighting as one race and a united world. Well this is a virus, alien to us and we are as divided as ever. Arguing about how a mask doesn't let us breathe, well how about the millions of people who can't breath because the air is too polluted or because they already died due to some people not wearing a mask. But I digress, for me this week that pandemic has limited my ability to go to the library to research some books that would cost way too much otherwise. Now this is a personal choice to stay home and stay safe and healthy, not to infect anyone else or myself. My method of research is less analog than it has ever been, my art more digital and my notes electrical. In the end, I have actually learned new ways to learn, which is a powerful opportunity and has advanced my adaptability and problem solving skills.
January 26, 2021
In regards to my community, I feel that we are united and we look out for each other in terms of health and socially. We support children, protect them as well as elders. For example, in the building that I live in was offering grocery help for the elderly people in my building including my grandma so if the elevator was out of service, a group of volunteer residents would help them out and that offer still stand today.
January 26, 2021
January 26, 2021
In week 2 of lockdown of the UK. I’m recovering from a nasty chest infection (pneumonia), and hospital admission, after being mismanaged for 2 months (GP consults by telephone and each time given antibiotics (4 courses) with no face to face examinations. Telephone consults have been the normal since last March, and proves to be great for some things, but leads to some things being missed like simple observations being recorded for the patient. Tested negative for CoVID, but post infection fatigue causing all sorts of strange symptoms similar to the long term symptoms some have called Long COVID, so now medics say maybe I’ve actually had CoVID. I don’t think I have. Long CoVID and indeed any post infection fatigue seems to be dismissed as one of those things, and no real universal support, or advice offered. I have found my own resources and explanations and theories by reading around the area of post infection fatigue and links to Long CoVID. All very helpful, as I have a medical background and I can do this- feel very sorry for those that [can't] access this good help and advice. Been a game changer last few days. Read a lot on the theories on physiology and on treating ME, and post viral & post infection fatigue, and it being similar to Long CoVID. This has given me ways to plan, pace and manage my strange symptoms of fast heart rate, extreme fatigue episodes, caffeine intolerance, body fizzing sensations and times where my body can’t regulate its temperature. Learning to read these as signs to rest, and recover. Acceptance is key to the slower pace and time off work. Recovery has begun, but we are all shielding so none of us have left the house. Also homeschooling has made this a challenge.
January 26, 2021
Durante esta pandemia tuve un gran crecimiento , me comprometí y empecé a vivir con mi pareja, la pandemia aceleró esto un poco, no podíamos estar saliendo y no queríamos separarnos así que vivimos juntos, ahora veo un gran privilegio, estoy en un pequeño lugar en el que el virus no existe, todo está bien, trabajo desde casa y estamos bien, pero afuera todo es diferente, hay filas en todos lados, las personas se quedaron sin trabajo, hay más crímenes, violencia, muerte y enfermedad, he aprendido de mi misma, he crecido en el medio del caos y creo que el mundo está en ese punto, sumidos entre el miedo, el egoísmo, el privilegio y la muerte.
January 26, 2021
Adjusting to school is so difficult. I've cried 2 days in a row over just one of my classes, and it's still the first week so 3 of my classes haven't even really began yet. I'm taking 5 classes (and 1 weekend lab course in April) so I planned to drop a class after I got a feel for them anyways. Something positive I did do though is I just scheduled a telehealth consultation for mental health through my university's mental health services! Ever since my dad was laid off in late April, I haven't been able to see my therapist because of the cost, and it's been really difficult trying to identify a therapist to call who accepts our new State Medicaid insurance. I've always found therapist in the past through referrals, so this time has been really difficult and I haven't found one yet or even have the energy to call some. I'm hoping that the mental health consultation will lead to me getting in contact with a therapist at my university's mental health services department, as even though I've heard not so great things about them, something is better than nothing and it could guide me in the right direction. I just been feeling so angry and slightly depressed and honestly I feel like I have a lack of sense of direction and I feel like I've become disconnected from myself. I'm hoping that with a therapist, I'll be able to work through these issues and figure out where they come from to reconnect with my purpose and happiness again.
January 26, 2021
Last weekend E. and I took E. to the airport: he is beginning his active duty tour supporting the air guard’s COVID vaccination efforts. While I admit it’s nice to have some space to breath -we were both working from home and we only like in 1,200 square feet!- taking care of a house and an toddler by myself is exhausting, even with daycare and the cleaners coming this week! I forgot how stressful it is to have to decide on and prepare a meal every day—I guess I’d better get back on that meal planning bandwagon. Thankfully we get a lot of support from our little bubble. E. misses daddy a lot already and is very demanding when we chat over FaceTime—she is obsessed with seeing the bathroom in his hotel room. We prepared a few weeks in advance, telling her he was going to go help people; she started too respond that she likes to help and wanted to go too, so I tell her I need her to stay and help mommy. So far she is satisfied with that answer and she does try to help me by picking up her toys and getting towels to wipe up spills both real and imagined. [He] did get the vaccine right away and I’m grateful for that. Our bubble friend who works out of his home part time also got one, thank goodness. The county says they plan to start vaccinating teachers at the end of this month, perhaps because our governor has decided in person school must resume March 1. I hope that means E.’s daycare teacher will get one soon but honestly just looking at the weekly supply numbers and the size of our various priority groups I don’t see how it is possible for teachers to be vaccinated in time. I am worried for our teachers—worried for their health, and worried that the great teachers in our country will chose to retire or leave the district rather than risk their lives.
January 26, 2021
I think people around the world are exhaling deeply, smiling widely and saying, “ I’m so glad American has got their shit together again. “ Biden and Harris are a sign that the world is righting itself.
January 27, 2021