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Adjusting to school is so difficult. I've cried 2 days in a row over just one of my classes, and it's still the first week so 3 of my classes haven't even really began yet. I'm taking 5 classes (and 1 weekend lab course in April) so I planned to drop a class after I got a feel for them anyways. Something positive I did do though is I just scheduled a telehealth consultation for mental health through my university's mental health services! Ever since my dad was laid off in late April, I haven't been able to see my therapist because of the cost, and it's been really difficult trying to identify a therapist to call who accepts our new State Medicaid insurance. I've always found therapist in the past through referrals, so this time has been really difficult and I haven't found one yet or even have the energy to call some. I'm hoping that the mental health consultation will lead to me getting in contact with a therapist at my university's mental health services department, as even though I've heard not so great things about them, something is better than nothing and it could guide me in the right direction. I just been feeling so angry and slightly depressed and honestly I feel like I have a lack of sense of direction and I feel like I've become disconnected from myself. I'm hoping that with a therapist, I'll be able to work through these issues and figure out where they come from to reconnect with my purpose and happiness again.
January 26, 2021