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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
The first snow in our area this week....and as a doc, that used to mean either being risky and trying to drive in to the office, or simply moving all the appointments, canceling the day (and having fun in the snow but not making any money). But hey, it's 2020---this snowstorm, I simply did telemedicine visits from my laptop at home rather than from my desktop at the office. My staff worked from home, checking phone messages every hour or so, and communicating with me either by text or via our electronic medical record. So, patients still got seen, I still made some money, and we don't have to reschedule anyone! Covid made telemedicine rise to the forefront....about time. It's one of the silver linings in this pandemic!
December 20, 2020
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Many of us have experienced restrictions on movement and social contact during the pandemic. Talk about any restrictions that have especially affected you.
I am a painter, with a studio in a large artists building. The community there has been supportive and social. We always gathered for lunch at 1 o'clock in our common area. There was conversation, laughter, arguements, inspiration. Since the pandemic, our building is deserted. The few times I've gone in since March there's rarely anyone working. Of course, lunch gatherings are out, but even more crucial is the fact that very few artists I know are even motivated to make art. It's like the pandemic has sucked out our creativity or need to make art at all.
December 20, 2020
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Have people in your community supported one another during the pandemic? Talk about why or why not, and maybe give some examples.
The city I live in has been incredibly diligent about mask ordinances, for which I'm grateful. I haven't been anywhere near as active publicly in said community because I've gotten rid of Facebook and moved away from a lot of the interactions I would have had otherwise. I get the sense that people are isolating in more ways than one, much like myself.
December 20, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
The coronavirus pandemic hasn't affected my life this week because I am doing what I've been doing since March. I go to work, buy gas, and go shopping for food and basic supplies. My department had a pot-luck pizza luncheon and Christmas gift exchange this week. It felt normal to bake something and eat it with coworkers. We were in violation of pandemic rules that no homemade food was to be shared during the pandemic. We are law abiding citizens, but are tired of the control of basic liberties our country has placed on us. We were offered a free COVID-19 test so I took it. It came back negative as expected.
December 20, 2020
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Some people are feeling intense feelings right now as a result of the pandemic. Is anything making you especially sad, angry, or hopeful right now? If so, what's on your mind?
The loss of so many innocent lives to the Pandemic is starting to take a toll. I find myself crying at least once a day over a news segment about a “life well lived” and I’m sad but also angry because it didn’t have to be this way if we had leadership in the White House and/or Senate. It’s an absolute travesty what these people have unleashed on this Country. People have lost this jobs, lost their healthcare, facing eviction, foreclosure, during the holiday season, facing a pandemic. And DC is squabbling over whether to give people $600 or $1200 dollars. Unreal! People need thousands! I truly don’t understand the greed and callousness in DC. And then I saw the video of the woman in Chicago who stood naked on body camera after the police kicked in her door. And it terrified me. As a woman living alone in the suburbs, I couldn’t IMAGINE how I would have reacted to the police kicking in my door, making me stand naked while they ignored me telling them they had the wrong address. And similar stories of families in Chicago where their door has been kicked in multiple times. As a white woman, I live insulated from this trauma. I’ve only ever heard of this happening to one person, a friend of a friend, but the police had the right place that time. Then I saw the outrageous amount of settlement money the city of Chicago has paid due to police wrongdoing. Chicago is a great city and gets so many things right, why is the CPD still such a disaster ?!? Well, that was cathartic. Time to get back to cards and spreading Christmas cheer!
December 20, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
This week was a challenging week for my family and me because last week I met my friends. It was a birthday party, we were all invited. I tried to avoid going so close to others. I said hello, hi from far, I wasn't that close to anyone. After 4 days I got a call from one of my friend's ... who was at that party. He said in his family there are 4 people who got COVID-19 positive. I was so worried, I'm still trying to have distance from my family member. because I'm not sure if I have it.
December 21, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
It's less than a week before Christmas. Usually, I would be preparing food, last minute gifts, baking cookies (at least six different kinds.) I am doing none of that. We ordinarily host my large extended family. This year we will be two. My grown children live 15 miles away. I won't be seeing them, except on a computer screen. While this makes me sad, I do it in hopes that next year we will gather with the renewed realization that family and friends are what matters most. I worry that unlike the first quarantine in March, here in New England we are facing three long months of darkness and cold. I fear that level of depression.
December 21, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
This week my mom was on phase one of getting the vaccine. My mom is a housekeeper at a hospital and has cleaned many rooms that were used by Covid patients. My mom has been part of so much history in the last couple of months that we all have so many mixed feelings. I’m happy she will be protected and I really do hope that vaccine is successful with her and her co workers.
December 21, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I haven't been journaling the last few weeks because unfortunately my grandmother has passed away last week.This, of course, was very hard for my family and me. It was especially hard, because even though I had my family as emotional support, I couldn't talk to my friends at all. Today was the funeral and because it is close to Christmas, I felt really sad and lonely. We have a "hard lockdown" again in Germany and I realise that I start to worry whenever I'm in a public place, like a supermarket, which I have not before. I also realised that I will probably not see my friends before February or March next year and since some of them still meet illegally I feel left out and I am scared, that I will loose some of my friends, because they take my staying away personal.
December 21, 2020
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Talk about whatever else is on your mind today.
Two friends lost close relatives and COVID made the death's hard. The 51 year -old sister of a close friend of my husband, who lives in Israel, died suddenly of a heart attack. Due to the need to have a negative COVID test before entering the US he couldn't make it to the funeral. He came back to the US to be with his family for a few days after her death. My friend's 90+ mother died nearby. The friend and her husband had moved to Arizona a couple of years ago. She got the call her mother was failing. Her husband has several serious chronic conditions so I think the flying would have been risky in terms of COVID. HE didn't come. She was able to get to see her mother before she passed away.
December 21, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
How to Stay Married During a Pandemic • Enjoy outdoor walks--alone. • Take long drives in the country--alone. • Wear headphones and listen to soothing music while he plays video games at high decibel levels • Utilize separate TV sets so that you aren't forced to watch Nat Geo 24/7 • Practice meditation to discourage murderous thoughts • Maintain a secret chocolate snack stash • Share cooking chores but keep an eye on the location of the butcher knife • Ignore the way he hums as he chews • Refrain from discussing politics, financial concerns or home remodeling projects • Pray emphatically for an end to the pandemic
December 21, 2020
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During this pandemic, people are looking for guidance and support in different places. Talk about where you've been looking for support, and how helpful (or not helpful) these sources have been to you.
I did’nt go to a therapist, although I felt I could use it. I couldn’t afford it. But I started painting and returned to the piano I neglected for so many years. It didn’t “heal” anything, but at least, alongside the deppressing parts of life, I felt there’s some new promising path.
December 21, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
I have been texting my sister in Pennsylania, 3500 miles away, because we have no other means of communication. She is in shared accommodation, ill with Covid, and struggling with a landlord who is trying (illegally) to evict her, and housemates who (understandably) don't want to share a bathroom or kitchen with her, but who refuse to practice social distancing among themselves and others. I am nothing more than a sounding board for my sister's troubles, as there is nothing I can do to help her other than offer my sympathy. Meanwhile, here in Scotland, there is about 6 hours of daylight, none of which includes sunshine. it is grim. Of course I know it is grimmer in other places. It doesn't actually help, knowing that there are people worse off than you, when you are feeling blue; it just makes you feel selfish and ungrateful, which leads to further misery for being such a self-centred human being. Still - trying to put up Christmas decorations and get work done and not drag my family down with me. There is not a darn thing to write in this journal because nothing is happening in my life.
December 21, 2020
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12/20/20 Saw this sign at the local liquor store in our neighborhood today. We had just run into Dunkin’ Donuts to pick up a couple of pounds of coffee beans, and One of the people behind the counter had her mask below her nose. Then, some guy walked in without a mask. I was there with my kid, whom I sent out of the store to wait for me while I paid. Then I saw this sign in another store just a few doors down. I know it’s easy to say, but FFS what is wrong with people That they won’t wear a mask, or will actually go to the trouble, and then not wear it properly? I feel like for Those of us who’ve gotten accustomed to, it’s just second nature now – and not wearing one evokes the sensation of those dreams where you show up at school and suddenly realized you forgot to put your pants on or something like that. With kids too, it’s like they’ve learned it in their flesh. They immediately notice when other people aren’t complying, and they certainly have opinions about it too.
December 21, 2020
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Many of us have experienced restrictions on movement and social contact during the pandemic. Talk about any restrictions that have especially affected you.
My most pressing issue is not being able to go home for Christmas. To travel home, we would have to go halfway across the country, including 4 meal stops and a night at a hotel. My parent's house would usually have been our first stop, but my mom is a front-line worker who has seen how horrible this disease has been in her community and my dad is high risk with a laundry list of pre-existing conditions. They have been taking this very seriously and the last time I saw them in person was last Christmas. My mom told me in March that she didn't want me coming home for Christmas. Our second stop would be to see my in-laws. They have been more relaxed in their response and we have friends and family near them that are in the camp of people who are in denial. So if we were to make that stop we would be seeing dozens of people, about half of whom haven't been taking COVID seriously at all. They live in one of the current epicenters of the disease, St. Louis, MO. It is really painful not to see them this holiday season. I don't like just being stuck at home with just my husband and my son. I need my space.
December 22, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
Oddly enough, I've been filled with gratitude this week. My dad passed away on Thursday. He went into the hospital the Saturday before that, and was there until Tuesday. Mercifully, the hospital let me in to see him on Tuesday, as we didn't know at that time whether the nursing home would let me in when he was about to transition. Our local hospital for the most part is not allowing visitors at this time, but they made an exception. But as it turns out, when hospice assessed Dad on Thursday and they realized his time was near, the nursing home allowed me in. I got to see and hug my mom for the first time since the lockdown--the last time I hugged her was March 11. Dad stayed with us for 5.5 hours after I got there, so I was able to spend time with both of them, reminiscing over all our wonderful memories. And he passed so peacefully. People talk about a "death rattle" when someone takes their last breath, but Dad's last breath was no different from the ones that immediately preceded it--a bit like his just-about-to-drift-off-to-sleep light snore. He was able to transition in a way that so many have been robbed of this year--surrounded by family, both in person and over the phone, comfortable, and awash in our love for him and his love for us. Grateful doesn't even begin to cover my feelings on being able to be present for his passing. He was 80 and had been on dialysis for around 5 years, so his passing was not a surprise. I spent most of this year fearing he would transition alone with Mom--that I would be barred from being there. In fact, their nursing home only just got a massive COVID outbreak under control. If he had passed even a week or two before this, they probably wouldn't have been able to let me in. I am so relieved that he is out of pain. That my mom somehow, miraculously, willed herself into lucidity because she knew he was dying and that she wanted, needed, to be mentally present as he passed. Her lucidity won't last. The deep sadness over the loss of my dad will come --for her, for me, for all of us. But considering how awful it could've been --he could've died in isolation, she could've been completely out of it mentally, I could've been barred from being there-- all I feel now is the love and joy for him. He's out of pain. He got to die on his own terms. And I was able to hold his hand as he took his last breath, as I watched his pulse through his carotid artery slow, and then stop. I could bear witness so Mom didn't have to. She was next to me, of course, but I took over the active watching because otherwise she would've, and I'm not sure she could've handled that. In COVID terms, though, this gives me a bit of something akin to survivor's guilt. Worldwide, nearly 2 million souls have already died agonizing deaths, alone and scared. Millions more have grieved the loss of those loved ones in similar isolation, apart from their families. And many others have lost their loved ones in similar circumstances simply because of COVID restrictions--their loved ones didn't die of COVID, but they still weren't allowed to be present because of safety concerns. I don't know why my dad and our family were spared that fate, but I'm immensely grateful for it. I only wish that everyone could die as dignified a death as my dad did--and I'm so terribly sorry so many won't.
December 22, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
12/16/20 Slept really well for the first time since my beloved aunt's death. Beautiful dream about flying at night, swimming through the air with swimming strokes, and looking down at beautiful blue lit swimming pools and city lights below and feeling so moved and saying to someone else flying by, "we're so lucky to live in such a beautiful place." Preparing for the Zoom funeral this weekend, nervous about what to say. If not for the pandemic it would surely be planned a lot farther in advance. 12/17/20 Another good dream, about powerfully confronting a bully. I think am trying to be my aunt to myself. Image of myself coming to me today: a tree that got hit by lightning. The blast was deafening and I am split apart. But now that there has been some silence after the blast, it's seeming calm and peaceful today and innocent life is still going on around me and today I can feel that I'm still alive and might grow again. H called me to console for the loss of my aunt and remembered my saying she was really important to me. Some of my healthcare worker friends are getting covid vaccines already! We are concerned for S about the possibility that his severe food allergy makes the Pfizer one a no-go for him. 12/18/20 Obsessed with playing with Google's Blob Opera. So cute and fun. What a lovely holiday gift. 12/19/20 The Zoom memorial had lovely moments but felt a lot more casual than a funeral would have been and it made me sad. People mostly spoke off the cuff instead of preparing something and I wished it had more dignity and intensity. was exhausting and not that rewarding. But, nice that more people could participate than in person, and having a mute button can be really handy with a big group! One attendee was actually out on a walk at the beginning and that felt offensive to me, not the decorum you expect for a memorial! I had hoped to look at my aunt's kind partner while I spoke but he had his camera off. That's just how it goes with Zoom gatherings. I felt so depleted and exhausted afterwards. 12/20/20 Our tall neighbor R who was elderly and never wore a mask has died. Could he have been the covid patient in our building? Only found out because his door was open with moving boxes outside and we stopped to ask. He had lived there since the late 80s. He always talked to us about some (Rotarian?) pancake breakfast. He was a pleasant neighbor. May his memory be for a blessing. Was looking forward to telehealth session with my therapist for 15-odd years but her partner died of covid. So sad and also hard for me to lose another source of support. So many deaths that could have been prevented. 12/21/20 Spent some of the night awake and crying, having it hit me again so sharply that my aunt is gone 10 days after she died, a covid outbreak began at her hospital and if it had been just a bit sooner my cousins might not have been able to visit her at all. 12/22/20 Started the day feeling a little lighter but then S and I got into a tangle about his paycheck getting messed up mostly because of the covid-related mandatory furloughs at his workplace. I feel like all the stress and grief are making me a terrible partner.
December 23, 2020
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Talk about whatever else is on your mind today.
My heart is with all the families coping with loss.
December 23, 2020
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Is the pandemic affecting any small businesses you know well? If so, tell us how.
The pandemic has affected my husband's art business. He is a professional aritist and we own a small art gallery in a storefront on the first floor of our building We live above the art gallery. He displays his art there and sells prints and paintings from there. Since March 19 he has been closed. He sold one or two prints since then. One print was sold after he did a Zoom tour of the gallery. A participant called to ask if she could come to the gallery and see the work. We allowed her, and her husband a short visit, with masks. We opened the doors and let air circulate. The other print was sold to an acquaintance who happened to park in from of the bundling just as I was exiting the house I invited her in, for a brief period, with her mask on and she decided to purchase the piece of art. He usually opens the gallery on Saturdays for visitors and music performances, with neighbors and friends coming by to play music. This can't happen until the Covid is over.
December 23, 2020
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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.
More day by day sketches: March 27 & 28 2020 Brooklyn, NY Captions: Photo 1: Pot with Dried Basil Photo 2: N. takes deep naps in the afternoons We had stopped going out. Food was delivered. Days were blurry and we soft of drifted from doing one thing to another. It reminds me of Sleeping Beauty's kingdom -- when she fell asleep from pricking her finger on the poisoned spindle of the spinning wheel. And during the course of the curse, the whole kingdom languished and fell asleep.
December 23, 2020