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How to Stay Married During a Pandemic • Enjoy outdoor walks--alone. • Take long drives in the country--alone. • Wear headphones and listen to soothing music while he plays video games at high decibel levels • Utilize separate TV sets so that you aren't forced to watch Nat Geo 24/7 • Practice meditation to discourage murderous thoughts • Maintain a secret chocolate snack stash • Share cooking chores but keep an eye on the location of the butcher knife • Ignore the way he hums as he chews • Refrain from discussing politics, financial concerns or home remodeling projects • Pray emphatically for an end to the pandemic
December 21, 2020