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I’m a nervous wreck. A second lockdown (in Israel) is so much worst than the first. And no one even believes it will help. We don’t see a way out of this. Now they say: maybe December. December??? And how are we going to go through tomorrow? I am exhausted. I am on partial umemployment. I also barely work on the small job I have left. I can’t really do anything when my daughters are at home. I wasn’t alone for months. Yet I feel so lonely. The only people I see are the parents in the playground. And the conversations are always the same. It’s hard for everyone, I know. But I feel it’s especially hard for me. A few days ago, my daughters didn’t want to leave the playground. It was already late, and I was already too tired so I leaned back on my bench, and that’s when I saw the moon.
September 30, 2020
I am a lawyer turned preschool teacher to my child at home. This week was the first time I felt like a real teacher. I was excited to do a lesson plan about apples with my four year old. Instead of being depressed about all that she was missing out on, I felt grateful to be able to teach her, to watch her learn, and spend quality time with her. I am able to do things with her that I would not have time to if I was working. If only I could be paid for this work too.
October 1, 2020
Ever since school began, I basically have been stuck in my room, unable to go outside and enjoy the weather since I have many classes during the day, and assignment deadlines that fall just after sunset. I feel trapped even though I still have the ability to go outside, so the panes in my window almost feel like prison bars that frame the beauty of the outdoors that I’m missing most days.
October 2, 2020
More people planted gardens and flowers this year. Time spent outside has been a solace for lots of folks! It's a wonderful activity. I am a Senior Master Gardener having taken the course through the Purdue Extension Course in the Horticulture Dept.
October 3, 2020
I was thinking of the virus and all the people who have died from it. And the sadness and suffering of those families. This image was done after looking up at the sky one day in July 2020, and seeing clouds moving fast. I was imagining all those I've lost from my family (not from virus but years or decades ago) - and even though they are gone, how their strength and presence is still with me.
October 6, 2020
A few months into the pandemic, around the middle of summer, I was getting bored. Not bored in terms of nothing to do, but surprisingly, I was getting tired of ads. After watching hours of YouTube and Snapchat every day for months, the ads that I saw became repetetive, and I was really getting tired of them. I was noticing the ads more than the videos I was watching, and I just got tired of it. As a result, I started moving towards more fulfilling things, like being out in nature and playing music on my piano. Surprisingly, I didn't force myself to do these things like I did in the beginning of the pandemic, but they just came naturally to me. The crumpled up magazine page in the corner represents my rejection of advertisements, and the central focus of my piano represents moving on to higher, more fulfilling, natural things.
October 6, 2020
This past weekend, my husband, daughter and I met my brother, his boyfriend and our niece in Cold Spring, NY. It was a perfect day to walk around, picnic on the Hudson and just be together after too many months apart. As we sat, ate and laughed, I looked at the water and noticed these three posts. I felt like they represented myself, my husband and our daughter. Since the pandemic began and our lives changed in ways we could never imagine, we've kept our heads above water because we have been in it together. We each have our own space, but not too much to keep us separated at such a scary time. This photo makes me feel happy. This photo reminds me that life is about family and anyone you feel close to, that you're all in it together in one way or another.
October 6, 2020
Last night I dreamt that I am near the sea. The sea was wavy and I was watching it from a distance, from the other side of the road, with my husband. The air was damp and dense like in Death in Venice and the sun was slowly descending to the sea. In the small bay there was a strange show of men dressed as giant vaginas in red, dancing in the water, and their costumes got partly wet. We didn’t get wet, we were far from the waves. A huge tsunami wave came and erected a sort of a roof above our heads, but it splashed behind us and we remained dry and safe. We knew that sooner or later the wave will wash us too. For now we are just watching the waves. Finally my husband asks, what time is it anyway, and I am saying, it’s the last time. The picture is from a different time.
October 7, 2020
A history professor in our town has a tradition of making elaborate, thought-provoking Halloween displays. This year, he -- and his friends and family, media reports share -- tackled both #BLM and COVID-19, as well as the death of RBG. My family and I went for a walk over the weekend to check it out. It's impossible to capture the full display in a single photo, but I've tried to snap a few. Media reports -- local and national -- capture a bit more. For example: A Connecticut man's Halloween display features real-life horrors: The coronavirus and Black lives lost https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/01/us/connecticut-man-halloween-covid-blm-trnd/index.html West Hartford family's annual Halloween display tackles BLM, COVID-19 https://www.wfsb.com/news/west-hartford-familys-annual-halloween-display-tackles-blm-covid-19/article_b22f79a0-0724-11eb-97fd-5f5558807e19.html
October 7, 2020
This is a photo of our local emergency room with empty triage tents outside of it, taken from inside our car. We were passing by on our way home from getting drive-through flu shots which we could get because our insurance is really good and our doctors are very caring. Somehow everything about this picture sums up for me how we have access to ways to take care of our health that other people don't get. Black and brown and poor people are dying at so much higher rates. Even when wealthy white people like the president and his entourage get sick, they don't even think it's a big deal because they are already insulated and pampered, and can get expensive, cutting edge medical treatment with no problem. If all of us tried to keep each other safe, and if essential workers got excellent care and protection, we'd see a very different pattern.
October 7, 2020
H e thought he'd never contract it. O h, karma surely is a bitch, A nd now we eagerly await X actly what fake news he'll pitch.
October 7, 2020
I moved into my first apartment this past week! Which is exciting and nerve-wracking. I moved in with two of my closest friends from home, so I'm happy I'm in good company. They both lived in Harlem prior to the pandemic and moved out over the summer. They were trying to move to Brooklyn and wanted me to join them, so here I am. Moving during the pandemic wasn't that unusual, we wore masks and cleaned everything before we began unpacking. But in the five days since we've been here, and have all been working here since we're all working remotely (and all trying to find new/better jobs), rates have begun rising in the area. We joked about whether we were making a mistake, since this might be the darkest winter ever--everything closed and cold. But I'm taking comfort in the fact that if I'm stuck inside for the entire winter, I'm doing it with two people I love and enjoy spending time with. Truthfully, we would've never gotten this apartment if it hadn't been for the pandemic. The monthly rent we're paying was lowered from last year by over $500. We frankly wouldn't have been able to afford it. And it's beautiful. It's bright and airy, and I have a skylight (as does one of my friends) and it just feels right. So we'll figure it out. Whatever happens, I have faith we'll figure it out together.
October 7, 2020
The Coronavirus has profoundly affected my life in the past week. I found this sign in the woods. It’s the corrugated version of a flag I had ordered. So for a while we had both the lawn sign version and the banner version outside of our home. I should order a t-shirt version, too, because this small rectangle holds the basis for what I believe. I will not willingly interact with, or do business with, anyone who doesn’t believe—and vote—this way. Our country is so divided, and I’m feeling it. The Coronavirus is the hallmark of the dividing line. Mask it or casket. No one should have the right to willingly endanger other citizens, and I’m afraid that the leadership of this country has abdicated its position in the most dangerous possible way—all because the White House resident does not believe that lives of others matter. He — and his VP in last night’s debate — demonstrate an inability to listen to women. Their actions define those who do not have their income levels as illegal. They certainly are not listening to science. Love and kindness are not even part of their vocabularies. And it is causing me heartache, and probably affecting my blood pressure. I cannot believe we have come to this as a nation. Our Constitution does not seem to mean anything. I want to call someone, but there is no adult who is in charge at this time. My heart breaks for the career workers at the White House, who are not only exposed to this deadly virus, but are now bringing it home to their families. The utter selfish power grab of the GOP could kill us all. The covidiot-in-chief will stop at nothing. And so I helped get several hundred Reclaim the Vote postcards into the mail. I have made a countless number of masks. I have made political contributions. For every small thing that we have done from this household, this administration and its minyans put up more barriers to democracy. The governor of Texas has ordered just one ballot dropbox per county, meaning that more than one million people will have just one place to bring their early ballots. It isn’t fair, and it shouldn’t be legal. The lives of Americans, and the life of America depend on a Supreme Court that is no longer fair, nor balanced. There will be desperate people. There will be deaths. And I cannot do enough on my own. I don’t know whether I need to psychologically drop out of the news cycle, or jump in with two feet. Either way I am overwhelmed with a citizen’s smallness in the face of reality. I used to feel pride in my participation in the political process. As a woman facing open misogyny, a Jew in a time of rising anti-semitism, a compassionate person concerned with all human rights, I will vote for the policies that defined this country—and fear that the unity of these United States has been corrupted for generations.
October 8, 2020
A history professor in our town has a tradition of making elaborate, thought-provoking Halloween displays. This year, he -- and his friends and family, media reports share -- tackled both #BLM and COVID-19, as well as the death of RBG. My family and I went for a walk over the weekend to check it out. It's impossible to capture the full display in a single photo, but I've tried to snap a few. Media reports -- local and national -- capture a bit more. For example: A Connecticut man's Halloween display features real-life horrors: The coronavirus and Black lives lost https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/01/us/connecticut-man-halloween-covid-blm-trnd/index.html West Hartford family's annual Halloween display tackles BLM, COVID-19 https://www.wfsb.com/news/west-hartford-familys-annual-halloween-display-tackles-blm-covid-19/article_b22f79a0-0724-11eb-97fd-5f5558807e19.html This panel shows Black people killed by police. It's part of a series of four panels that starts with excerpts from announcements of runaway slaves that appeared in local Connecticut newspapers in the 1770s and 1780s, followed by a second panel showing quotations from Frederick Douglass, WEB Dubois, and MLK, then this panel showing people murdered by police. A horrible continuity.
October 8, 2020
A history professor in our town has a tradition of making elaborate, thought-provoking Halloween displays. This year, he -- and his friends and family, media reports share -- tackled both #BLM and COVID-19, as well as the death of RBG. My family and I went for a walk over the weekend to check it out. It's impossible to capture the full display in a single photo, but I've tried to snap a few. Media reports -- local and national -- capture a bit more. For example: A Connecticut man's Halloween display features real-life horrors: The coronavirus and Black lives lost https://www.cnn.com/2020/10/01/us/connecticut-man-halloween-covid-blm-trnd/index.html West Hartford family's annual Halloween display tackles BLM, COVID-19 https://www.wfsb.com/news/west-hartford-familys-annual-halloween-display-tackles-blm-covid-19/article_b22f79a0-0724-11eb-97fd-5f5558807e19.html The final board of the display gives passersby a chance to write their own comments. This photo shows one of the hundreds of comments posted on the comment board. (The creators of the display thoughtfully built it to include a ledge with permanent markers on one side and a holder with a bottle of hand sanitizer on the other so people can write their comment, then sanitize.)
October 9, 2020
I’ve been going outside a lot more lately. It is keeping me sane. The alternative? Be super depressed when temporary relief is right behind the door. We found this froggy in the reservoir path. My friends found more and more as we walked. They seem content in their muddy world. Are they?
October 10, 2020
This week has me feeling a bit like I’ve fallen down a rabbit’s hole. Politics aside, the mixed messages on COVID are other worldly. More people seem to be out and about. There’s more traffic on the road, more cars in parking lots outside of restaurants and stores. More invites from friends to get together, with social distancing of course. Yet cases are on the rise, and The Presidents gets it which proves no one is immune. Then he gets an experimental cocktail and seems to indicate this is a cure and we should not be afraid. I guess he thinks it’s all over and It’s no big deal. Yet the cocktail contains stem cells, which will be interesting to see how that plays out with Pro-lifers who clearly will have to abstain right? And it’s experimental so not available to us. And the cost was tens of thousands, and we don’t know that he’s out of the woods yet. And contrast that with the video of the sobbing nurse who is furious at his indifference in social distancing because she has done chest compressions on hundreds of patients and knows this is not a joke for anyone else. Occasionally I pop on to one of the talk radio stations and am always amazed at the lies and vitriol that is allowed, and encouraged there. Having isolated and been so careful for so long to see the leader of our country speak and act with such indifference is another example of the parallel lives In other worlds some of my fellow Americans seem to be living in. Move over Peter, I guess I may be here awhile.
October 11, 2020
I sometimes help at a nearby farm. I help a fellow who had hoped to lease and farm full time, selling his wares at a farmers market and to upscale restaurants. Because of the economy he had to get a “real” job teaching so he wasn’t as dependent on the weather, and the fickleness of consumer spending to support his family. This year he did not even try any produce because of time restrictions he knew he was going to need for figuring out how to teach in this new world, so it’s just a handful of beef cows. They are pretty independent so it’s often just a head count, checking gates are closed, and water is available. I miss watching the tomatoes and or corn crops growing. The corn field went to pasture, and the hot house remains empty. There’s been limits put on every aspect of my life, and while I can stay home and isolate, With the cows I still get some interaction, some close contact with something living. This picture is Daisy, the one cow that allows touches. I know they all eventually end up at the “burger barn” but they have been my go to source of socialization during Covid. I’m hoping the owner can hold onto the land so I don’t lose this outlet as well as the many other activities that were part of my “normal” life.
October 12, 2020
A church near us has this message board up and usually it has been a sweet thing to glance at as we walk past--- names of people who are being prayed for, etc. These past few weeks people are scribbling over each other's messages and erasing each other's words, all about politics. I hate looking at it -- it's like an embodiment of our current situation, some people (only a few around here) yelling about how great Republicans are and others reacting with justified fury. I wish the church would just take away the chalk because there's nothing sweet about it now. During this pandemic we are all in a state of fury and terror all the time and our opportunities to connect are few and limited, and even a church chalkboard turns into polarized social media war.
October 14, 2020
There once was a dope in D.C. Well known for his obstinacy ‘Cause even when asked He’d talk down the mask And make clear his idiocy.
October 17, 2020