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Page 17 of 28
How does America expect to remain a global power when states are making decisions like this? It makes me doubt that we will ever return to "normal" in this country.
March 5, 2021
This is the screen that you get when you try to get your parents, who are in their 70’s, a COVID vaccine. I have seen this woman’s face (from the CVS vaccine sign up page) at 4:30am, 5:00am, 6:00am and at random times in the afternoon. She looks happy. She is smiling. Anyone who has seen this face is likely as frustrated as I am. I blew a gasket the other day when I learned that more and more friends of mine are getting their shots. They are in their 40’s and 50’s, healthy and are eligible for the vaccine because they fit the definition of working in education (but they work from home and work admin jobs) and the like. Yet, there is a Facebook page of people pleading for help getting vaccines for their elderly relatives, or those with cancer - those who are most in need. Our health system - our American dream - is a game of grab a$$ medical care - take what you can get. Those with the resources play the lottery (or have someone else play for them) and hope their number comes up. It’s such BS and shameful. My parents have appointments later in the spring, they are safe and ok. They will be fine. But for all of those who can’t wait their turn: Shame. Shame. Shame. And shame on this system which is so broken it’s mind blowing. A rover lands on Mars and people are hitting refresh on the CVS website at 4:00 to help their family members. It’s disgusting.
March 5, 2021
A few weeks ago my grandma got vaccinated, my Mom drove her to the drive-in vaccination site, and I tagged along. The vaccination site was actually the airstrip at Pratt and Whitney! It was right next to Rentschler Field, so we all joked that we were taking Grandma to a football game. Once we got there, the site was packed full of people. There had to he hundreds of cars, and the staff there was a mix of what appeared to be healthcare professionals, DOT people, and members of the U.S Army dressed in camo. We stopped in a holding area which was pretty muddy, and we listened to instructions on the radio. There was actually a car that was stuck in the mud in the first area, and needed to be pushed out by the workers. After waiting for about 30 minutes in that first area, we were redirected to another line, which is shown in the photo. Grandma even had an appointment, but by the time she got her vaccine and we left, we had been there for over 2 hours. Being able to talk with Grandma and my Mom made the time go by a bit faster, and Grandma was relieved that we were there to go with her. With the huge wait time and the army men being there, Operation Warp Speed felt like Operation Slow Speed.
March 8, 2021
I got Moderna #2 today. Yay! So very relieved to be on the road to immunity. After the year of global pandemic, lock down, isolation, fear, irritability, uncertainty, and bouts of insomnia and thoughts of doom I am so joyous for this moment. This week I have seen some improvement in my energy level and mental outlook. I haven't been so quick to respond to issues or actions with anger. Instead I find it easier to just pause and breathe, observe and then respond. I still feel most days like I'm on my own secluded island, though. Suspicious of any strangers. Wary if I see a maskless person in public. Too quick to judge. But I'm getting better I think especially now that I'm fully vaccinated. I feel like I'm free to plan ahead again. Eager to get information from the CDC on what I can and cannot do going forward. Excited about travel and seeing family and friends. Still, in the back of my mind there's a kernel of doubt. What about all these new variants? How long does immunity last? Can I infect others? Much yet to be determined.
March 8, 2021
Sometime, perhaps not too far in the distance, we anticipate a return to normalcy. Even as spring is soon set to arrive, we are constantly reminded of the promise of hope and renewal. We long to joyfully emerge from dark, dreary days of confinement and thereafter commence to slowly, but steadily, rebuild our shattered lives and dreams. The world is reawakening.
March 8, 2021
I got this plant (his name is Arnold) last year. I repotted him in the beginning of the summer, but it's time for him to be repotted again now, because he's had some babies and they've gotten big. Taking care of my plants has been really calming throughout all of this. Watering them has become a ritual and now that I've been home almost constantly, I can see how big they've all gotten. Repotting them before the fall and winter will give them more room to spread their roots and then grow next year. Even if I'm not able to take care of myself as well as I should be (hence why I put up a printout of a CBT triangle my therapist gave me years ago), I can still take care of them. (The diplodocus' name is Kenny, a camper gave him to me almost 5 years ago. He loves the plants too).
March 9, 2021
Feb 24, 2021 Photo sketch 1: Caption: Waiting in car as D gets his second vaccine. My turn? Maybe this spring? Feb 28, 2021 Photo sketch 2: We do the same thing everyday. The monotony is numbing. Covid Days
March 10, 2021
By now you get the idea that I like Fort Orange Brewing's products... This is from early 2021 sometime, I don't recall exactly when. It fits with the Perseverance beer label I just contributed. This beer label reads "A Bright Tomorrow," and depicts a sunrise over the Empire State Plaza. It represents the feeling that by Feb. 2021, with a new administration and vaccines being distributed, that the end of the pandemic may be in sight. We'll see. I write this on 9 March 2021.
March 10, 2021
This image, drawn by a four-year-old, says it all."I am angry!" next to a scowling face with gritted teeth. I don't know whether she drew it because she was feeling angry, or if she was just practicing drawing faces because they're learning about feelings at school. So I ask her how she's feeling. She tells me. It's elaborate, rambling, complex, and funny. She's honest, unselfconscious in a way that adults never are. She speaks in clauses and interrupts herself. She is love and joy and all good things distilled, sitting in the patch of sun on the scuffed living room floor of the new, smaller house we just moved into. She is surrounded by cardboard boxes and the dust of the house's previous occupants (why wouldn't you clean a house before you sold it to another family during a pandemic?! "I am angry!"). She is learning about feelings. She is teaching me.
March 10, 2021
I took this photograph two days ago in Terminal 4 of JFK. We were on our way to Mexico for work, traveling again for the first time in a year. We're incredibly lucky to be fully vaccinated so feel comfortable traveling but of course, everything is different. The airport was so much quieter than usual, most stores aren't open and as I walked past this lounge I saw a squirrel inside. I did a double take, thinking for sure that it wasn't real but then it started moving. Poor thing was so skinny and was clearly looking for food but with the lounge being closed there was nothing for it to eat. Who knows how long it's been surviving inside the lounge or how much longer it could survive there. I told an airport worker about it but I'm not sure there was anything anyone could do for it. It reminded me of the "nature is healing / we are the virus" meme that was going around in the the early days of the pandemic but without the levity.
March 11, 2021
Los Angeles is our home. The city of legends, the sparling mother of ten thousand stories. Traffic is legendary, the cost of living is astounding, earthquakes are terrifying. What makes our City of Angels worth all of that ? The venues, the amazing restaurants, the world class shopping and art museums. An afternoon at the Getty is everyone's favorite date. Or a visit to the Norton Simon, Hammer or LACMA -- each one showcasing it's own world class collection of brilliant art. And the gardens, (n the photo, Getty Museum). Paradise to wander through. And basically free of charge. You see "Everyone" there, the rich & famous, and everyday moms and dads with their kids. And of course, the Lakers, Dodgers, Rams, Clippers, Bruins, Trojans and all the rest of the teams we love. The food. Holy Angels in Heaven, the food. From every corner of the world, our neighbors brought their delicious food. Showcasing the food their parents brought from hundreds of "old countries". Fancy restaurants where dinner is $100 or more each, and thousands of modest places that would have delighted Anthony Bourdain. Gone. Closed. Barely surviving on take-out orders. Overnight, it all vanished. No games to cheer at. Just TV in our own living rooms. The Rose Parade -- gone. All those wonderful places to visit and eat -- gone. Not to mention our family holidays. Christmas by Zoom ? Hardly. Tickets to Staples ? Not this year ! I got "the stick" first, and E. got hers today. Like plants budding in spring, the places we have missed gradually will come back to life. And our lives slowly will come out of isolation to welcome them. Finally we can celebrate with our family again. No more fear that a holiday dinner might kill an elderly aunt or uncle. Being able to get together with friends and family is the best part of our gradual awakening. Maybe what we learned from the virus is the importance of family.
March 12, 2021
One of the initial skills that my first grade teacher instilled in her students was the ability to “line up” quickly and quietly. No pushing. No shoving. No breaking in line. Some 60 years later, these lessons have come rushing back to me because…well…lines are a part of everyday life during COVID-19. Since March 2020, we have braved long, sluggish voting lines, registration lines, vaccination lines, toilet paper lines and store checkout lines alongside other masked and (hopefully) appropriately distanced individuals. My fellow earthlings and I have now become professional queuers who understand more than ever before the physical, social and psychological forces at play each time we shuffle through seemingly interminable lines. And as Mrs. A preached to me decades ago, proper queue etiquette is defined by courtesy, tolerance and patience.
March 12, 2021
I have uploaded artwork I have been creating in the last few years. I find creative outlets very good for my spirit. I create the artwork with a program on my iPad. I call the method digital abstract expressionism. The title of this work is Supernaturally Improbable. The pandemic reminds us that life is unpredictable and random. The serendipity of life encourages me to believe in luck. My father always said you can be one in million lucky and one in a million unlucky. I believe you can create your own luck by reaching out and trying to seize opportunities. I learned about the pandemic journal from a news article and now I enjoy registering my thoughts and experiences as part of a ritual. I have made it through the pandemic by doing daily exercises as part of an aging program. I still feel young in some ways and lucky that I avoided the coronavirus. I received both Pfizer vaccines. In terms of luck, I have won $100 everyday in the last three days. I hope its a harbinger to winning a major prize. I was able to take advantage of the beautiful weather in East Hampton, New York and get fresh air and take a walk. It opens up the mind and heart. Rituals like keeping a digital diary, buying lotto tickets, reading The New York Times, Washington Post and Boston Globe and writing many letters to the editor keeps me moving. A night of watching MSNBC, Netflix, HBO Max, Showtime, Comedy Central and Network Evening News feeds the brain food I need.
March 13, 2021
Making nan, poppyseed bread, cornbread, and other comfort food helped a lot to make us feel ok, in a very difficult time.
March 13, 2021
Here’s a picture of what’s left in E’s bathroom, and it would make me cry in normal times, all the flotsam of the empty nest: a lighter from her Amsterdam adventure a couple years ago, her tampons, blue nail polish, hair pins. Now she can’t come back in here, to her childhood home, sans mask, until I am vaccinated. (J is but not me.) God, how I want us all just to be able to eat fried chicken, laugh, chase the cat, together, without masks.
March 13, 2021
I took this photo of my wife working from home about a month ago and it’s one of my favorites. It really captures this year for me. Although it’s been a year of disruption and isolation from many of our friends and family, it’s also been a year of getting so much more time together and of comfort, warmth, and love. That’s what this picture represents to me. The end of this week will mark when my vaccine should be fully effective and I’ve really started to think about what life is going to be like coming out of this. It’s been weird because I have spent so long trying to prepare to be in this altered state for a very, very long time, that I didn’t really allow myself to think about going “back to normal.” And now normal feels like the altered state. Now going back to the way things were seems almost disruptive because we’ve adapted to how life is now. Already work is going back to regular full schedules and I’m not really looking forward to that because I’ve enjoyed the time off even at a reduced paycheck. I am looking forward to seeing friends and my family again but I still don’t even know when that will be. I think we will have to start small and go from there. I do hope we can keep some of the habits and lessons and good things from this year - an appreciation of time with each other and slowing down every once in awhile.
March 14, 2021
Photo Sketch 1: The alarm app on my phone is loaded with to-do's each day. It's hard not to drift through the day, forgetting the things we planned to do, moving in a kind of fog... March 3, 2021 Photo Sketch 2: One "cool" pandemic discovery: An internet Digital library so my student and I can Zoom read together and chat about what we're sharing. Covid days.
March 14, 2021
The coronavirus pandemic has not affected my life much in the past week. My mother was placed under hospice care Friday, February 26, so I took vacation and drove 500+ miles to be with her Sunday, February 28. Sunday night, I stayed with my son and daughter-in-law. Monday, I drove to the facility where Mom lived. Mom was unresponsive, but occasionally opened her eyes when I touched her and spoke to her over the next four days. I barely slept on my brother’s couch that was too short as thoughts swam around in my head at night. I went to my parents’ home Tuesday afternoon and bagged up the rest of the stuff left on shelves and in drawers. I did this to feel useful instead of just sitting with Mom as she slept. Wednesday, my sister-in-law and I threw a lot of Mom’s stuff away, donated items to the activity director for game prizes, and gave her clothes to a housekeeper. I went to the funeral home to make arrangements. That night, I met a friend for dinner at a local restaurant. My friend remarked that nobody was wearing a mask and the place was crowded. Thursday, I sat with Mom. From the first day, I noticed when Mom opened her eyes, they were gray. Mom had brown eyes. Since she was unresponsive, I spent time working remotely while sitting with her. I planned on leaving Friday morning and got the call around 6:30 that she was close to passing. My brother and I sat with Mom until she died. The whole process of her dying was very peaceful. She was sleeping from the first day I was with her until she passed away. I am glad that she went in the manner most of us want to go… in our sleep. I got into my car to leave and watched Canadian geese land on the roof of the facility where Mom was. Seeing them sitting on the rooftop gave me comfort with the thought that Mom had left the building and was free to fly away from the misery of this Earth.
March 14, 2021
A first concert! Only vaccinated people were allowed, we sat with masks the entire show, two empty seats between each, no break, no coughs, no sneezings. But such a redemptory experience.
March 14, 2021
During this pandemic I have often felt bottled up, needing to escape. I tried to express my feelings through art showing some butterflies escaping to freedom. The situation with the pandemic has improved since the Covid vaccines are becoming available to more people. The situation across the country is quite disorganized when it comes to obtaining the vaccine. Some areas of the country are doing well, others not so good. The political divide between Republicans and Democrats has infiltrated our healthcare system. I hope that my plans to travel to Japan will happen this year, but I'm starting to doubt it.
March 14, 2021