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Making nan, poppyseed bread, cornbread, and other comfort food helped a lot to make us feel ok, in a very difficult time.
March 13, 2021
Here’s a picture of what’s left in E’s bathroom, and it would make me cry in normal times, all the flotsam of the empty nest: a lighter from her Amsterdam adventure a couple years ago, her tampons, blue nail polish, hair pins. Now she can’t come back in here, to her childhood home, sans mask, until I am vaccinated. (J is but not me.) God, how I want us all just to be able to eat fried chicken, laugh, chase the cat, together, without masks.
March 13, 2021
I took this photo of my wife working from home about a month ago and it’s one of my favorites. It really captures this year for me. Although it’s been a year of disruption and isolation from many of our friends and family, it’s also been a year of getting so much more time together and of comfort, warmth, and love. That’s what this picture represents to me. The end of this week will mark when my vaccine should be fully effective and I’ve really started to think about what life is going to be like coming out of this. It’s been weird because I have spent so long trying to prepare to be in this altered state for a very, very long time, that I didn’t really allow myself to think about going “back to normal.” And now normal feels like the altered state. Now going back to the way things were seems almost disruptive because we’ve adapted to how life is now. Already work is going back to regular full schedules and I’m not really looking forward to that because I’ve enjoyed the time off even at a reduced paycheck. I am looking forward to seeing friends and my family again but I still don’t even know when that will be. I think we will have to start small and go from there. I do hope we can keep some of the habits and lessons and good things from this year - an appreciation of time with each other and slowing down every once in awhile.
March 14, 2021
On Tuesday I got my first Moderna vaccine. I got an appointment online. Then I drove to the fairgrounds in the next county north of here and joined hundreds of other people getting their shots. It was really well organized; everything was moving really quickly. I hardly felt the injection at all. After, I just started crying. I couldn't really control myself, I was just so relieved. I don't think I believed it would really happen. I sat in the area where we were being observed for problems, trying not to let tears get my mask wet, thinking there should be music and balloons. Now I'm happy my arm hurts.
March 14, 2021
“Local grandparents” was the phrase of the week for me. I heard it everywhere and it reminded me of a deep sadness of missing my grandkids. CDC guidance for vaccinated persons and what they can do were continuously illustrated by saying that vaccinated local grandparents could now visit their children and grandchildren safely. I’m not yet vaccinated, being a youngish grandparent still, and my grandchildren and their parents are not local but very far away. I’m glad for those families and yet also very sad for my own situation. There is light at the end of the tunnel but we are still in the pandemic tunnel at my house...
March 14, 2021
Photo Sketch 1: The alarm app on my phone is loaded with to-do's each day. It's hard not to drift through the day, forgetting the things we planned to do, moving in a kind of fog... March 3, 2021 Photo Sketch 2: One "cool" pandemic discovery: An internet Digital library so my student and I can Zoom read together and chat about what we're sharing. Covid days.
March 14, 2021
The coronavirus pandemic has not affected my life much in the past week. My mother was placed under hospice care Friday, February 26, so I took vacation and drove 500+ miles to be with her Sunday, February 28. Sunday night, I stayed with my son and daughter-in-law. Monday, I drove to the facility where Mom lived. Mom was unresponsive, but occasionally opened her eyes when I touched her and spoke to her over the next four days. I barely slept on my brother’s couch that was too short as thoughts swam around in my head at night. I went to my parents’ home Tuesday afternoon and bagged up the rest of the stuff left on shelves and in drawers. I did this to feel useful instead of just sitting with Mom as she slept. Wednesday, my sister-in-law and I threw a lot of Mom’s stuff away, donated items to the activity director for game prizes, and gave her clothes to a housekeeper. I went to the funeral home to make arrangements. That night, I met a friend for dinner at a local restaurant. My friend remarked that nobody was wearing a mask and the place was crowded. Thursday, I sat with Mom. From the first day, I noticed when Mom opened her eyes, they were gray. Mom had brown eyes. Since she was unresponsive, I spent time working remotely while sitting with her. I planned on leaving Friday morning and got the call around 6:30 that she was close to passing. My brother and I sat with Mom until she died. The whole process of her dying was very peaceful. She was sleeping from the first day I was with her until she passed away. I am glad that she went in the manner most of us want to go… in our sleep. I got into my car to leave and watched Canadian geese land on the roof of the facility where Mom was. Seeing them sitting on the rooftop gave me comfort with the thought that Mom had left the building and was free to fly away from the misery of this Earth.
March 14, 2021
i’m asian american and until recently lived right next to oakland chinatown. an elderly asian man was assaulted there this week and died of his injuries. not great, to say the least.
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
March 14, 2021
A first concert! Only vaccinated people were allowed, we sat with masks the entire show, two empty seats between each, no break, no coughs, no sneezings. But such a redemptory experience.
March 14, 2021
During this pandemic I have often felt bottled up, needing to escape. I tried to express my feelings through art showing some butterflies escaping to freedom. The situation with the pandemic has improved since the Covid vaccines are becoming available to more people. The situation across the country is quite disorganized when it comes to obtaining the vaccine. Some areas of the country are doing well, others not so good. The political divide between Republicans and Democrats has infiltrated our healthcare system. I hope that my plans to travel to Japan will happen this year, but I'm starting to doubt it.
March 14, 2021
Vaccines are on everyone's mind right now. My parents got their first dose last week. I should be eligible next week based on my breast cancer treatment. My husband won't get his until May (if then) based on what Biden has just said in his national address. Who knows when our 3 and 6 year olds will be protected. COVID numbers are dropping thankfully but people we know are still being affected, still being infected. It's an upside down world as we hit the one-year mark of lockdown
March 14, 2021
I feel like this whole pandemic has been like this melting snowman. Pieces of me are all over, nothing is where it belongs. I am trying to see the beauty in the world but sometimes things just get in the way, like the overgrown stick which is taking over the top of the snowman. Good things are happening in my life, my daughter is getting married, my older daughter had a new baby this past August, yet the pandemic is blocking my vision. I feel like my priorities are mixed up, sometimes the world is not as bright as it seems. The clouds are hiding the sun and the air is polluted with germs. The corona virus is still with us, people are still masked up and afraid to socialize.
March 14, 2021
This week was my mom's birthday so I went home to see her. She is now fully vaccinated and this was the first time I was able to see her without social distancing in a really long time. I was able to give her a big hug and eat next to her. After being worried about her health for the last year and unable to see her as I wanted, this was incredible. I felt so hopeful this week and I feel like this is finally coming to a close. I can't wait to be able to get my vaccine and start seeing my friends like I was able to see my mom. One interesting this I felt this week was nervous about things opening up again. I've been dating in COVID this year and have been able to use COVID as a good boundary setter. It's almost scary that I will soon have the possibility of seeing people non-social distanced again.
March 15, 2021
There is still a sense that every day is the same. Generally, my state of mind shifts between hopefulness that we might actually begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but a part of me is also skeptical, especially since the vaccinations are advancing at a slow pace. Overall, I feel rather irritated much of the time, but I try to focus my mind on positive things, such as the possibility that I might see my family in Germany again in a few months. The joy of that prospect is diminished by the fact that my mum passed away last December, but it would be good to see the rest of my family again. Somehow I feel this would help me restore a sense of normalcy.
March 15, 2021
The ugliest and most unsavory characteristics of humanity have come to the forefront. Selfishness. Greed. Avarice. Death of civility. Existing inequities have become larger. Our hearts have hardened.
March 15, 2021
I think that the biggest change to come out of this pandemic is the exposure to the lack of preparedness in this countries health system along with showing how much disparity exists in the health field. Of the many historical things to come out of this pandemic, the one thing I will never be able to reconcile with is images of nurses having to wear trash bags to protect themselves, along with health care workers reusing masks and other vital equipment due to the fear of shortages. Americans are quick to think of our hospital systems as the most advanced in the world. While we may have expensive machines and fancy new wards popping up left and right, they are of no use if there physically aren't people to use them. A hospital without nurses, doctors, faculty, staff, therapists, social workers and coordinators is just an expensive building filled with expensive machinery. Through the COVID pandemic it has been made crystal clear that this country was not prepared to deal with something of this magnitude. While it may be fair to think that the government deserves some slack because they don't have a crystal ball and couldn't predict the future and this pandemic, they did in fact have a crystal ball. It's called science. Leading epidemiologists and virologists around the world had been saying that from analyzing past patterns of epidemics including the spanish flu and other outbreaks that it was just a matter of time before the next disease came. If people in positions of authority had put trust into the science, we could have had stockpiles of PPE ready or hospital workers. But no, instead while people sat at home and quarantined, nurses had to wear trash bags and ski goggles. This pandemic has highlighted the cracks in the foundation of how this society treats science as a whole. A world where thousands of people don't die from preventable illness is the same world where science is trusted and upheld above the opinions of those who have no idea what is happening.
March 15, 2021
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March 15, 2021
Llevo un tiempo en que no vuelvo a este espacio. Sinceramente ya quería volver a escribir pero el tiempo no me favorecía del todo bien desde la última vez que tuve presencia aquí. Es como si todos los maestros de mi Facultad tuvieran un plan organizado para bombardearnos con sus proyectos y tareas sabiendo que estamos en nuestro último semestre y nos servirá de “experiencia” para cuando egresemos. La verdad no comprendo muy bien su lógica en cuanto a que tengamos que aprender lo que ellos... bueno, lo que mis compañeros dan de clase todos los días. Es decir, no es mi culpa que el resto de mis compañeros de su explicación del tema de hoy con una actitud muy apagada y aburrida que haga que tengo que enfocar mi atención en cosas mucho más importantes o tener que investigar por mi cuenta porque el compañero tal no explico bien. Además de agregar que mi servicio social no era tan “serio” como me lo imaginaba y es como si fuera una clase más donde tenga que aprobar. En fin, yo sigo dando lo mejor de mi y agregando mi esfuerzo aunque no sea reconocido como tal, al final... si yo me siento satisfecha en cuanto a ello, es suficiente para mi.
March 15, 2021