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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

I've been working as a pediatric specialist for nearly 30 years. One of the things that always brought me the most joy was interacting with patients and families in meaningful communication and sometimes even in play. I loved reassuring small children and their families that as sick as they might be, they would be cherished as the delightful, vibrant, individual children that they had always been, despite and through the illness or injury that brought them to my care. Taking a break from the constant barrage of need and noise and nuance of the world of critical care by talking to a family or playing with a child not only sustained me, but helped me understand the patients and the families better, making me a better doctor. Now- with my mask, goggles or face shield, isolation gowns, gloves etc, I am unable to do this. I cannot watch as closely for non verbal cues from the parents who are similarly masked and shielded, the kids find us all slightly terrifying, no matter how smiley or compassionate we try to make our eyes and our voices muffled through the masks. The soothing touch of skin on skin for a fretful infant is not an option. The toddlers recoil from our billowing masked and shielded selves. the parents are even more exhausted in their own battles with isolation, financial stressors and now- a critically ill child. I wanted to put up a contrasting picture taken precovid of a rare break to play with a child, but cannot upload two. It is a striking contrast. I miss the doctor I was once able to be.