Text Only

How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

So...<strong> before the pandemic I would have long 12 hour days driving around to keep up with my 6-8 part time jobs that I had to juggle to barely make a 25k living.</strong> I would work tirelessly as a substitute teacher, grant writer, cheer coach, skating coach, anything anyone wanted me to be within reason as long as I could get paid to pay my bills. <strong> Fast forward to March 2020 : I quit most of these part time jobs for a full time job I wound up leaving due to a white supremacist leader</strong> who continues to be the CEO and <strong>it was so toxic I questioned what is sanity if not in the hands of my oppressors as a BIPOC queer disabled woman?</strong> Feeling broken and lost after pouring my heart and soul into my full time job with benefits,<strong> I jumped into a Distance Education Teacher position</strong> where I am currently at.<strong> I love my job. It is alot ...I still work 12 -14 hours a day</strong> for my kids. I am<strong> paid 20k less than my previous job</strong> simply because I do not have a teacher's cert. I have 3 Bachelors degrees, 1 masters and am working on my doctorate in the hopes I will be deemed worthy by someone to settle into a job that won't treat me less than shit or run me ragged like a hamster on a wheel. Despite all of the change from moving out of my parents house into an apartment with my lover which we will soon be moving out of into a house together with my brother since it saves us hella money...<strong>I am tired.... I almost feel guilty saying hey you know I never got a break during this whole freaking pandemic.</strong> I want to scream at times saying it's not fair I am fighting here on the front lines and everyone keeps saying wow your amazing keep going...keep pushing...keep educating....keep being everything you are to everyone but<strong> who am I to myself anymore? I don't even know.</strong> I used to cry everyday just to get through and tell myself it will get better. And some moments have...but it is hard...<strong> I wish people would understand even though this pandemic has turned everything upside down to the point where I am working the same amount if not MORE so</strong> than I was working before online...<strong>I just want a break...</strong> I want to silence my phone...step away from taking care of people...step away from educating people....step away from myself for a little bit...but the world can't afford that right now and neither can I since we are all struggling through this together. All in all.... I still work the same amount of hours if not more so now but in ways I never expected I was capable of.