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9/23/20 ... Working hard on trying to develop a list of long term tenants in the building to invite to our email group, it's really hard work and requires some sleuthing, but finally figured out to get apartment numbers from the city rent ceiling website. Feels so good, getting some neighbors in touch with each other Omg sounds like covid can actually cause Parkinson's disease Also one of the last few days the US crossed 200,000 deaths and it leaves me a bit numb Horrible pain started during a Zoom call with D, I was sobbing saying "we won't let them get away with this!", and ended up unable to breathe. 9/24/20 Slept ok actually but awful pain, moving very slowly with my cane Puts me in a great mood to see 45 get booed and chanted at (while "paying respects" to RBG in DC), "vote him out!" "Honor her wish!" We will not let him get away with this. We will not. We're not dead yet. Yesterday shopping trip means we have bananas, which I haven't had in months, and yogurt! Luxuries! I love having bananas. S said this morning, "right after our shopping trip it's hard to balance things in the refrigerator getting them out to make my lunch -- I know it's a first world problem." And I said, "it is a luxury problem compared to many people for sure, but 'i can only get food every 3 weeks and then it barely fits in my little refrigerator' is not actually the definition of a first world problem!" Nice talk with my aunt in Canada. Her entire region has fewer than 1000 total cases of covid so far, whereas my county alone has 20,000 so far, so we just don't agree on how dangerous it is for her to go into a restaurant -- she "just wanted to sit at the usual table" inside so she did. 9/25/20 Still bad pain but slept okay, sweet cat snuggled up to my side for a lot of the night. B, a close friend in the past, and her family have covid in Israel. She says she is really tired and had to be briefly hospitalized but seems otherwise to be not having severe symptoms so far, and also all her healthcare has been free, which is just mind-blowing compared to the US. They're about to enter a 3-week lockdown. I really envy her being with her sister's family and her parents there. We can't leave the country because I can't travel due to my injury and I really wish we could because it's really getting frightening here, feels like 1930s Germany to me, with Trump making pronouncements about continuing his rule, white genes being "good genes," and depriving certain cities of federal money. We subscribe monthly to a lot of essential items to be delivered from Amazon, did even before covid because it's hard for me to shop, and the upcoming delivery shows 3 of our items temporarily unavailable, which is unusual and makes me worry that supply chain issues are coming in a severe way. I can't believe Florida is reopening bars and restaurants, what are they doing? And I just want to throw myself out the window knowing Amy Coney Barrett who believes in submitting to one's husband is going to be named to the Supreme Court. 9/26/20 Somewhat sweet shabbat. Still some really bad pain 9/27-28/20 One of the stranger Yom Kippurs of my life. We used Zoom for all the services so I found myself drifting off into email, Facebook, etc. It was horribly hot. We had a really excellent long conversation about Paul Berman's Tablet piece on liberalism and the Harper's letter about free debate. Maybe the high point was half an hour of virtual shmira (watching over the body) for Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. We read and sang psalms and then read from her Supreme Court decisions and cried. Neilah was so short and kind of nothing. It was very moving to have S blow shofar at the end and we both cried as we clung to each other, S saying "I'm so scared!" At least I didn't have to go in person to services with my reclining wheelchair which is so painful. 9/29/20 Got my flu shot in the car outside my doctor's office, really grateful they would do that! The US presidential debate ruined my whole day as I dreaded it, then I stress-ate chocolate by the handful as S hid from it in the other room. Incredibly stressful and infuriating to hear him even talk, let alone the bullying he was doing. I am really frightened by 45's refusal to condemn white supremacy or to urge calm in the wake of the election.
October 1, 2020