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10/6/20 S got his first ever flu shot (because of his allergy to most kinds of flu shot)! The allergist nurse brought it out to the car. Not much of a reaction at all. Great to have him protected from flu this season of covid! P told me about her poor friend who has 5 children, can't speak English very well, just lost her husband who died of covid and is distraught. Their community is treating them like lepers and they're so crushed with grief and terror. Meanwhile the sociopath in chief has a hospital suite with a dining room with a chandelier and then goes home to a functioning clinic inside his residence. It's so unbelievably unfair. 10/7/20 It's Sukkot. We got to spend some time in the sukkah of two strangers, thanks to our synagogue's matching program. It was very awkward that D hadn't set up everything and so was bustling around too close to me, but it was outside and everyone was masked so I tried not to freak out about it, they were doing us such an enormous favor to let us come! It's actually the first time I've had to negotiate that kind of distance issue because we mostly just shelter in place except for walks. They left everything we might need, plus hand sanitizer, and they brought their chaise lounge out for me to lie down on, and had an extension cord for my heating pad... Their sukkah was ugly and sad, almost no shade from scraggly twigs and very minimal decorations, but it was all we have this year. S brought his banjo to play. It was too hot because of the lack of shade but it was still incredibly sweet. 10/8/20 S couldn't run because of the air quality from wildfire smoke so he took a long walk to bring our extra paper bags to donate to a meal program for the homeless. I finally succeeded in getting the third of 3 freezes placed with the 3 credit bureaus (still aftermath of getting my identity stolen to apply for covid disaster relief)! Equifax took the longest. I burst into tears when the representative told me I had to send them more documents. When I told her the date I had already sent copies of my passport, driver's license and social security card, she was able to find them (why couldn't she find them before she made me cry?) and it turned out happily because finally I placed the freeze! All of this identity theft saga since my identity was stolen to apply for covid disaster relief has been the most ridiculous ordeal. It took more than a month to get my credit fully locked down. Over Zoom I got to chat with some new people from my synagogue. It was so delightful to have an in-depth conversation with someone new! Easier to achieve because of the pandemic. We're trying meal delivery from a local movie theater that usually serves food and has pivoted its business model. Not so great and probably not going to get used again often. But it's nice we supported them a little. 10/9/20 It enrages me so much that our sociopath in chief is planning a rally in spite of his still being potentially contagious. I can't even think about it without wanting to scream. I can't help hoping he will have a covid crash like some do after a week or so. The poor staff at the White House, so many of whom are older people of color. I'm so glad Pelosi is acknowledging the need to invoke the 25th amendment even though her effort will not pass. But it's honestly for the best that one of the remaining 2 "debates" has been cancelled because they don't help change anyone's mind and they just create more stress. I can't actually believe the New England Journal of Medicine and Scientific American have come out against Trump -- not exactly the most political publications! I don't end up even mentioning some of the most bonkers news in here (the terrorist plot to kidnap Gov Whitener!) because I'm just too exhausted by the unending stream of head-whipping shock and terror. This morning I woke up feeling completely hopeless but felt better after forcing myself to go for a walk, which I do even though it hurts a lot to breathe hard. I'm proud of my discipline. I refuse to let my life be ruined. We are going to get through this. 10/12/20 Enjoyed our weekend even though it made me very sad that Simchat Torah felt like a complete dud -- the services by night were stupid and there weren't any by morning, and when I tuned in to a minyan in LA by zoom it was just stiff singing with backs to the camera. I don't feel like I got a real holiday season this year and can't believe it's over. R had her periodic cancer scan this morning and at the hospital they didn't have a proper surgical mask for her and wouldn't let her wear her own mask into the MRI for fear of hidden metal, so she had a mask that looked like a torn sheet of paper, no seal to her nose at all. PPE shortages continue, though nothing about them is in the news. Woke up super grumpy and lethargic with an upset stomach. Allowed myself a very slow start which made me available when s found out his beloved former boss B had an aneurysm and has been in a coma. Her family can't be with her because of covid and he wonders if she would come out of it if they could hold her hand and talk to her. It was merciful that he was working from home so he could cry with me and tell me about it. I think part of what's making me feel not great physically is eating very carby cheap food without enough protein because that's all we have this week. S had to do the riskiest thing he has done since the pandemic began, take his steel guitar to the UPS store for shipping for repair. He wore an n95 with the valve taped plus a face shield and gloves, and they were only letting in one person at a time. Weird and unsettling but went as well as it could have. 10/13/20 Stressful, we can't get tissues with lotion in the size and kind S uses for less than $9 a box unless we get from Amazon Fresh delivery, made a busy morning harder, trying to set up a delivery. First world problem but creates stress. Everyone in my pain group has some amount of struggle with getting enough of the right food during the pandemic I voted absentee, which is normal for me since I got injured. S brought my ballot to the box -- an official one, not the fraudulent kind the Republicans have put out illegally around the state! -- and I felt nervous about the different signatures (mine on the ballot, his that he delivered) matching properly. Hideous pain today.
October 17, 2020