Text Only

Some people are feeling intense feelings right now as a result of the pandemic. Is anything making you especially sad, angry, or hopeful right now? If so, what's on your mind?

In January I moved across the country with my husband and daughter and in March there's a pandemic. the compounded effects of moving, leaving lots of friends and family and a job behind, and then being even more isolated by the pandemic has made me feel insanely anxious, like I am going out of my mind. I have also experienced really intense depression. This pandemic has made me put on hold all of my aspirations and plans. I have never had so much trouble sleeping. There have been nights where I turn out the lights only to be kept awake by my unrelenting heart rate. I feel like I have been in survival mode for months and I worry about the longterm effects of this on my health. I also feel like my body has aged ten years -- I have a lot more wrinkles on my face and my joints hurt. I am so sick of feeling this way that sometimes I feel furious with how stuck I feel. I am pretty sure I will never find a job and I have two masters. I am over qualified for most things and under qualified for everything else. On the other hand I am terrified that I will find a job because then I would have to put my daughter in daycare and I am so scared of her getting sick. No matter what I can't rest because everything is scary.