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I have been thinking alot about death this week, and I know that it's not healthy, but I don't know why it just keeps coming up before I go to bed. I think about my mom and my grandma and how much I love them, and I can't stand the thought of them passing away. Before the virus, whenever I thought about birthdays, getting older, or even the prospect of death, I didn't think of it with the element of fear and dread like I do now. It's like my mind had been tainted by the thought and it obscures my celebrations of everything good that's been happening to me lately. I am the type of person to understand what happens in the end, but use that at a positive catalyst to enjoy my life without a backdrop of fear. However, either due to the all-encompassing nature of the virus or my own corona scare, it seems like a feint black veil has been placed behind the stage of my life, and I sense it more and more when I have good moments. Before I could see the good and celebrate it, but now it seems like there is the nagging fear of death behind every celebration.