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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

This photo was taken a year ago. I thought that the painting I was looking at depicts what most of us miss right now - physical contact with people who do not belong to our household because of the coronavirus pandemic.

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Think about the people closest to you. Tell us about how the coronavirus has affected them, and their life.

Fortunately, many of the people I'm close to have been minimally affected by COVID, aside from socially distancing. My husband is able to conduct his work through telehealth, and many of my friends who are in the mental health field (as I am) are able to conduct their work virtually as well. My parents are also able to work from home; there was talk of my stepfather getting laid off, but thus far that hasn't happened. My dad got laid off early on in the pandemic (this is not unusual--he has been laid off from countless jobs) and struggled to find work. He said that he went on several interviews, but it seemed like places were just advertising that they were hiring without actually intending on hiring anybody. Certainly a frustrating situation. He was able to get hired a few months ago, though, and seems to be enjoying his new work. I worry about my husband's mental health. He struggles with the isolation, as well as living apart. He and I have lived apart for nearly 2 years now as we finish up our respective graduate programs. I am able to manage the distance much better than he does. He struggles with the virtual work; he is a bit tech-averse and is fatigued by the screen time by the end of the day. He doesn't feel the same sort of connection to others virtually as he does face-to-face, which contributes to his sense of isolation. It doesn't help that the apartment he moved to several months ago is a piece of shit--falling apart a bit, roaches everywhere, you name it. He started therapy a few months ago, thank GOD. It's hard to be in the mental health field and be married to someone who is struggling with their mental health. I know how I would respond to him if he was my client, but I feel at a loss at how to respond to him as a wife. I also feel guilty because I am coping much better. The isolation doesn't bother me, nor does the distance. I'm happy he is in therapy now.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

So much has happened not only to me this week, but also nationally as well. I think I'll start with how the pandemic is affecting me. Winter in the pandemic is so hard. Especially while being in school. I almost never go outside due to the cold, and for whatever reason my friends don't call me as often, and I have such lower energy. It's mostly due to other things in my life as well, but I had 2 panic attacks this week alone, and I just feel like I'm losing myself. Staying inside definitely isn't helping. What really makes this part of the pandemic difficult (and much more difficult than in the start) really is the weather and the winter. When the pandemic "began" for us in late March, the weather was turning nicer, and I very often sat outside on my porch to do reading, and even just read outside on the grass, breathing in the fresh air, seeing the beautiful sky, flowers and greenery, and being so thankful that I lived in such a beautiful, lush place. Even in the Fall, I would still read outside, as it was pretty warm during most of the fall. Even when it was chillier it was still tolerable enough to sit outside with a long-sleeve shirt or my flannel and read my printouts, handwrite notes or assignments, and take out my kindle to give my eyes some respite as I read my pdf textbooks. Thinking about it now, I just really miss when I would sit outside and do my linguistics homework by hand, and even listen to the lectures while taking notes outside. Now those are no longer options. It is Winter. It is so cold, and I'm cooped up inside. Worse yet is that the pandemic is at its worst, and I see one of my close friends occasionally going to maskless parties, so I have to stay away from her for at least a week or more to stay safe, so I can't even see other people. There's often nights when it's especially freezing, and I have to cover myself from head to toe with my blanket to be comfortable. Before the pandemic, I was never one to pay much attention or mind to the seasons, but now I'm very attuned to them and how they affect me, especially when I can't go out in nature with a foot of snow out. When January started I was excited to go walk on a frozen lake, but now I just want it to be warm again. Maybe when I've got some free time tomorrow I should put on my snow gear and go outside after my classes are over. My sisters have been doing that, so it might be a good idea.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

A couple of things have occupied my feelings this week. One is my daughter's recovery. She had lost her senses of taste and smell, which seem now to have returned. Her main symptom, which has lingered, is tiredness. (I can't see it as fatigue, more just tired all the time.) Obviously the side effect of the pandemic is that I can't be with her and have to rely on phone calls to find out how sh's doing. The second thing is the pathetic roll-out of the vaccine here in Massachusetts. Many of my friends in other states have already gotten their second doses. I have no idea when they will make my group (over 65) eligible, nor how long I will have to wait for an appointment, or where I'll have to go. I'm really scared, living as I do in a high-risk community. This has kept me even more isolated and nervous to go out.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

A lot is happening at once, and I'm not sure if it's good or bad. First and foremost, Biden got another Cabinet pick -- Buttigieg -- confirmed today. I know that the Department of Transportation doesn't have a whole lot to do with developing vaccines, but with every pick confirmed I feel less and less tense. Three out of four of my grandparents got the vaccine, which I'm thrilled about. Even my grandpa, who's allergic to eggs, which vaccines are grown in, is getting it, though he has to take it in a hospital where they can closely monitor him afterwards as opposed to a drive-through vaccine site. But the way the vaccines are being distributed still make me uncomfortable. It feels like you need connections to get the shot, which shouldn't be the case. I love my grandma, don't get me wrong, but the only reason she got the vaccine is because she has a friend who has a kid who works at the hospital, and the person who works at the hospital knew that there was an open call for seniors, and called her mom who called my grandmother (whew!). Crazy vaccine stories are all over the place. I heard of people transporting the vaccine in Oregon and got stuck in traffic, so they wandered the lines of cars and gave people shots. At Seattle University last week, the freezers shut down in a blackout -- you would think there'd be a generator -- so they put out a call for anyone and everyone to come and get shots administered. My friend's dad was in the line until 2 AM and was 30 people short of getting the vaccine. The weird thing is, the virus doesn't impact me now as much as it used to. I double-mask while outside and not exercising now, but that's the main thing that has changed in the past few weeks. I've had to go to the supermarket without glasses because they fog up so badly when I'm wearing multiple masks -- just wandering around Safeway, hoping I bought the right food. They've detected the variants in the US, and I'm not taking any chances. Meanwhile, an entire city in Australia shut down over one COVID case. They've got the right idea. I wish the US had done that in the first place. We'd all be that much better off.

Can I pick one? The biggest nationally are the Congressional battle over the Covid Relief package--the Republicans are trying to shaft moderate income Americans with lower stimulus checks gauged to lower income maximums, and so far the Democrats are only doing so much to work around them, and the forthcoming impeachments, where the Democrats are pressing on, the Republicans are getting "cold feet" and DT's lawyers just quite on him. Just today, Pete Buttigieg was confirmed as Secretary of Transportationmaking history as the first openly gay cabinet member. But most hopefully, the Biden administration is "upping its game" in getting those vaccines distributed, and closer to home, North Carolina has gone from having one of the lowest to one of the highest vaccination rates in the country. Not that the last is going to terribly speed things up for me personally, though it should certainly help.

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How do you imagine life will be different when the pandemic is over? Have your thoughts on this changed since the pandemic began?

People will celebrate!! I have so many plans!! It will be like going out of jail. This is the only thought that keeps me going.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

I looked forward for the second vaccine. Maybe because it gave me something to look forward to. I counted the days between the first and the second shots, and read about the increased protection that each day brings. Now that I got it, there’s nothing to look for. Again. All days are the same. Still in lockdown, we don’t really see the end of it. The infection numbers in Israel are increasing although about 20% of the population already received the second shot. My daughters are still underemployed and edgy. My partner still deppressed. I am still terribly lonely. This is the second shot deppression: understanding that it doen’t bring any instant cure, that the way out is not near. In the picture: people waiting in line for the first vaccine in Rabin Square.

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Talk about how the events of recent months have affected either your work or your ability to work.

In these recent months, I can not say that I did not have fun. I went outside to different fun places every Friday, and someone twice a week. I went to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Manhattan. I went to the third largest mall of the United State, and it is call "King of Prussia Mall". This mall so full of people, and I has too many stores. It is huge. I also went to the United State second largest mall and it is call American Dream. I went there like 7 times, 3 times to shop, and 4 times to the waterpark. I visited Philly bout I did not like it. I also went to Six Flags like 3 times, and to more places with attractions. I also went to many more malls and restaurants. There are a lot fun places open. I went to all of these places with my boyfriend, his boy bestfriend, and my girl friend.

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Let's talk about racism. Have you seen any messages or memes that you thought were racist or offensive? If so, talk about what you've seen or heard.

The divisions in the country are in an uproar and racism is at the center: the white supremicists are fighting tooth and nail for what they think of as their right to dominate the rest of us. Start with Marjorie Taylor Green, the right wing star of the week (see my journal entry), continue with Kevin McCarthy's "we all bear some responsibility for the 6 Jan attack on the Capitol and his trip to consult with Trump in Florida, continue with the hypocritical messaging of the Republicans that holding people accountable for violating their oaths of office to the Constitution is "divisive", continue with the posts and speeches of the people involved in the attack on the Capitol (no remorse, but the opposite), continue with the open campaign of Republicans to gerrymander so that Republicans are assured majorities, to get Republican legislatures to pass laws that allow them to override elections, watch Fox News, and watch the migration to other platforms. Continue with the astonishing failure of the Capitol police, DoD and DoJ to explain publicly what happened on 6 January, to explain how explicit warnings of armed attack failed to trigger any defense perimeters for the Capitol. Continue with the slow but steady identification of supporters, sympathizers and fellow travelers of the Poor Boys and other right wing groups inside police and other institutions. Unfortunately, we have seen all this before both in the history of the U.S. and elsewhere (Weimar Germany). May the Biden initiatives and all the Stacey Abrams style organizing be enough to hold the country together. There is a change a coming, but the resistance is fierce.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

In the past week, my dad's been pushing me to get a vaccine under...less than honest pretenses. We've gotten in a few spats over it. He wants me to drive to another state, or lie about my employment status so that I'll qualify. I mean I am in a risk group, but I'm young and not on the top of the list. I can wait to get the vaccine until health care workers and teachers (like my mom) get theirs.

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Has the pandemic changed your views on human rights issues in any way? If so, how?

Poor people are being victimized once again, especially regarding the public school situation. Rich public school districts and private schools are somehow going to get their teachers vaccinated. This is infuriating. This must be fixed.

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Has the pandemic disrupted your plans for the future in any major way? If so, talk about the most significant disruption(s).

I graduated in May 2020 and I feel like I have had a sort of "failure to launch" that a lot of other grads have felt. I have been lucky enough to have a job in my field, but working remotely from my parents' house is not what I pictured for starting my adult life. I don't know if my company will ever require in-person work again, so planning where I want to live is very open-ended.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

I was walking with my daughters to the playing ground when we passed through this tree. I probably walked this way a hundred times, but I didn’t see this before. The tree met an iron fence in his way but it didn’t stop him, he changed its form, hugged it and grew through it. I wanted to hug the tree.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

I am still digesting Amanda Gorman's amazing words from the inauguration. This is my dream, for everyone and for myself. I'm not even close right now due to mental illness, but I pray one day I will be.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

As a mental health provider, I meet with individual adults experiencing anxiety and depression. My work has been virtual since the pandemic started. I have a number of colleagues that I meet and talk with regularly. All of us are busier than we have ever been, and are not able to see new clients. We have been able to refer clients we can't see to each other before, and now we can't. As I have reached out to widen my contacts, they are all full too. Over the past week, I have noticed that almost all of the clients I meet with talked about being at their wits end in dealing with the pandemic. People have certainly complained about how it is impacting their lives previously, but not being at their wits end, as I have been hearing recently. Clients with young kids are feeling really cooped up and stressed about trying to care for their kids and work. Older people are feeling lonely and isolated, and everyone is sick of not being able to freely see family and friends, or just go to the movies. It is hard to hold all of this stress and anxiety, particularly when it is hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, and when I am feeling it myself. Self-care is really important. I have been emphasizing this for clients and practicing it myself. For me, being outside every day has been crucial to surviving this past year, as well as having regular conversations with people I care about. I think these are the things that are helping me to manage through this difficult time.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

The coronavirus pandemic is affecting my life in two ways. First, as an inpatient physical therapist in a large hospital, I treat this population daily, starting with proning maneuvers in the ICU (for ARDS) to the floor level patients until discharge. It is challenging work, but it is also rewarding. I feel that I am part of history implementing new research data and reading cutting edge studies as I move along. It's like riding a wave of new information where history is being made. While a lot of this work is rewarding, it is also terrible. All too many times I see somebody die from this virus. Like Mary, a sweet lady in her 80's who I helped up to the chair in the ICU just so she could hear her husband's voice over the phone. She cried when he picked up on the other end. She did not worry about herself and her increasing need for oxygen, she was worried about HIS health, home alone without her. Mary passed a few days later, intubated, sedated, and alone. And there's the Vietnam vet who has survived unspeakable atrocities and now fights for every breath, proned in his ICU bed, also alone. Not only has this pandemic affected me in my profession, but also my personal life. I was not able to see my parents in Austria in 2020, as I had planned. They are getting older, and I know i need to see them as often as I can. I was not able to go to the gym anymore, which was my opportunity to socialize with friends and blow off some steam. I have become a homebody over this past year. This isn't as sad as it sounds. It has lead me to rediscover the simple pleasure of being at home with my loved ones and enjoy our little "pack" (boyfriend and two dogs). I have started to read again, have a routine of daily workouts on my Peloton after work, and enjoy new hobbies, such as playing chess. I am typing this at work, getting ready for my shift. Today I have about 10 Covid-19 patients on my list. I look forward to seeing them, to trying to improve their lungs if even just a little, to get them out of bed to the window, or even just to bring a smile to their faces.

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Talk about your current living situation. Has anything changed during the pandemic (for example, where you're living, who you're living with, etc.).

I am lucky enough to be living in a house with some of my best friends while doing online classes. It is the only semi normal thing that I've been afforded (or afforded myself) in this pandemic. I bought myself a [Nintendo] switch as a reward for surviving last srmester- my hardest, most depressed I've ever been. I am happy to be able to say I made it through last semester to be able to experience this one where I get to play animal crossing with my roommates.

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Think about something really important that happened to you this week, and tell us about it.

I had a virtual meeting with members of the LGBT+ community and allies who participate in a hobby that plays a prominent role in my life (I'd rather not say what it is, as it's niche enough that it might identify myself or some folks in the meeting). I was so nervous, I was shaking. The culture of this hobby is relatively conservative, and gendered. I'm a trans man, and I used to do this activity as a woman. After medically and legally transitioning to male, I started doing it again, "stealth" (to my knowledge, others don't know that I'm not a cisgender man). I basically had to pretend I'd been trained in the activity as boy/man rather than as a girl/woman and do a lot of extra training and work all on my own, in secret. This meeting was the very first time I had ever told other people who do this activity that I had this experience. Personally, that was earth-shattering. I learned about non-binary participants who don't really have the option to do it the way that I did, and other trans participants who did the activity through transition and therefore are very publicly doing it as trans people. I felt a lot less alone. Going "stealth" for anything (or especially, for everything) is an extremely lonely experience. I also felt guilty, for not doing this while openly trans, protecting myself, but missing out on the opportunity to pave a path forward for other trans and non-binary people. I don't think this virtual meeting would have happened without the pandemic. There are some really revolutionary changes coming on the horizon.

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How is the coronavirus pandemic affecting your life right now? Tell us about your experiences, feelings, and thoughts.

It's been a few weeks since I've completed a journal entry on here. I honestly haven't known how to process much of anything the past few weeks. On December 17, my dad passed away. I wrote about that at length in my last entry, about how grateful I was to be able to be there, since he and Mom have been in a nursing home and he passed during a window between COVID outbreaks. Just after two weeks later, on January 3, I got the call I'd been dreading since last March--Mom tested positive. She has asthma, Alzheimer's, and heart failure, and when she tested positive, she'd been a widow just over a fortnight. Every odd was stacked against her. When the call came, I sobbed. I wept in fear that not only would Mom be taken from us, but I wouldn't be able to be with her when she did. The first day after her positive test, she started complaining of gastrointestinal distress--diarrhea that wouldn't stop. This continued for several days. But then...nothing. She retained her sense of smell and taste, although her pulse oxygen levels dipped a bit during that first week--at one point going as low as 93%, she never required supplemental oxygen. As a preventive measure, they gave her a full round of abdominal injections to prevent blood clotting. But she never developed any other symptoms. In short, Mom kicked COVID's ass. Nearly everyone in her nursing home has tested positive, and to date, sixteen have died. But Mom didn't even have so much as a sniffle or a tickle in her throat. Toward the end of her contagious period, she'd even forgotten she had COVID. This made her confused, because staff only went into her room fully suited up in PPE (even more than what was previously normal). I don't really know how to process this. I'm thrilled that she is fine, of course. After losing Dad last month, losing Mom to COVID would have been unbearably painful. But this disease, which has wreaked havoc on millions of people, which has killed nearly half a million Americans alone, which is usually so incredibly dangerous for the elderly, went through Mom like it was a bad batch of seafood and nothing more. Is it some weird sense of survivor's guilt? Perhaps. I will say Mom's bout with COVID certainly hasn't led me to take the threat of the disease less seriously. I still mask up, wash my hands frequently, keep my distance from others, and leave the house only when necessary. But it does have me wondering why. She already has dementia, and it's only going to get worse, unless her heart failure takes her first. Why did COVID spare her, when it's killed some perfectly healthy people, people who are much younger than her? I'm incredibly grateful that she was spared, but I'm having a hard time understanding it.