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April 16, 2020. Photo sketch #1: Glasses -- Caption: Covid days. This is a nervous sketch. I sketched this while on an audio webinar with Common Cause NY, as we learned what measures Congress needed to take to give relief to Americans who had lost their jobs because of Covid. Plus, the Trump Regime was withholding medical supplies needed to treat Covid. Forcing states to bid on critical supplies. April 20, 2020. Photo sketch #2: Caption: Chives kept inside until it's warmer outside. Covid days. Again, I was listening to the Pandemic Crisis steps that Congress needed to make. Sketching stuff was a way to cope with the fact that it felt like we were being abandoned. We were being abandoned.
January 15, 2021
I take a lot more walks than I used to, and I have a few friends that I take walks with and this is fun. I don't go out to eat as much as I used to. I don't go to movies or concerts or plays or anything like that either. I actually like my social life better now than pre-pandemic. I find that hanging out with friends is more focused on conversation and just "being" rather than "doing stuff" all the time. I feel like I'm getting to know people on a deeper level since we aren't all distracted by the particular activity we are doing. For fun I have also been doing yoga in Central Park which is wonderful and then walking with friends. At home, I have done a few jigsaw puzzles which I enjoy and I hadn't done in a long time.
January 16, 2021
I finds it ironical that the writing entries recently have really had little to do with the pandemic and much more about the political goings on. As I wrote last week I was on an uptick because the democrats from Georgia had won the runoff for the two seats in the senate. Then on the very same day after I had submitted my happy thoughts the worst insurrection happened. I had intended to spend a quiet afternoon reading but caught the beginning of the invasion. From then on my quiet afternoon declined to a drama that I never could imagine seeing. Where were the police, the secret service, the troops, anyone for help? It keeps hitting me that the POTUS was safely sealed in the White House while the second and third persons in power along with all of our governing body was under siege. As time passes it becomes even scarier because it seems that there were plenty of indicators that something was about to happen which went ignored. Our systems had failed and the evidence reeks of the possibility of some inside help. I hope that our systems of policing and justice actually work to unwind this and quell it quickly and eliminate it forever. The suspense continues on the political front as the pandemic takes a back page in the news.Unfortunately more failure has arisen on that front with another system failure. It seems that the United States is incapable of vaccinating its population expediently. Where is competent leadership to get this going smoothly and efficiently so that no doses are squandered? Right now there is little outrage over this and plenty over the issue of getting rid of a failed and mentally deranged president. I’m anxious on both accounts.
January 16, 2021
Another grey day. More rain. No sun. Just cold and grey. COVID is spreading - and apparently fast. It scares me. My boss started coughing, and even just the first time which could just be something is caught, make me tense up. What if he has COVID? What will happen if I get it? Apparently, according to one thing I read 1 in 30 in London has COVID. It is just coming closer and closer. In a sick way, I hope I just get it already, so I don't have to be afraid. But then I hope it's not too bad because, well, there is no room in the hospital. How is this still going on? When will this end?
January 16, 2021
The loneliness creeps up on me. It appears out of left field. The desire to just go and hang out with friends, go out to eat, even browse stacks at the library. The library is closed and books are available for remote order and self pick up by appointment only. Work is still like a ghost town. We are beginning to get the first wave of people looking for help to avoid evictions. Our CARES Act funding is gone. We are hoping that a new relief bill will provide more funding as well as extend the eviction moratorium. What is demoralizing is that COVID or not, some landlords are getting around the moratorium by charging lease violations. I have a friend that had to find another home to rent because her landlord didn't tell her he was in foreclosure and had a short sale closing in 21 days! I am still doing housing inspections by Facetime. Lease-signing still is in person, but the contacts are kept very brief. We were encouraged to work from home on the 20th. I decided to take a vacation day and celebrate my son's birthday by cooking shrimp scampi and his favorite chocolate cake. I am woefully amazed at the selfishness of some legislators who adamantly refused to wear masks when sheltering from the violent assault on the Capitol. One of my representatives tested positive as a result. His whole family is in quarantine. You can't know how vulnerable someone is , or perhaps someone in their household is, by looking at them. I can't wrap my brain around how many people have been so duped. I was horrified that the Confederate Flag was used in the assault. As a nation, we are still experiencing the aftershocks of Reconstruction backlash. Just look at the disparities in health outcomes. We had health officials blaming minorities for having preexisting conditions that make them more likely to have severe COVID and die, when the structure and funding of our health care system (?), Big Agra, and trauma also contribute. I went on a novel-reading frenzy as soon as I was done with finals last semester... Classes start back up on Tuesday, with one class in hybrid format (1.5 hours Zoom Live and 1.5 hours in person). I hope they don't cancel that class again. This is the third semester I have tried to enroll in it, and it is the last class I need before internship. My anxiety is like a low-grade fever. Just enough to be uncomfortable, not enough to paralyze. I am finding ways to connect with people. I found a book discussion forum for mental health professionals that was very fulfilling and encouraging.
January 17, 2021
Last year's Thanksgiving Dinner at church was cancelled, or course! It was one of the highlights of my year. I don't think that we will be able to have it this year, either. Take-out boxes are a poor stand-in for the camaraderie that we experienced. The family reunion was cancelled, as well. We are trying to organize one via Zoom, hoping that August might allow a gathering. The vaccine rollout seems hampered, and I wonder if that will even come to pass. So many people are missing the traditional milestone gatherings; baby showers, bridal showers, weddings, proms, graduations, and funerals, we must find other ways of gathering. Sporting events, homecomings, the list goes on. Much of the fabric of our community lives has been ripped away!
January 17, 2021
I don't really feel like writing much today. This week I took apart my keyboard for the first time because there was an issue where one of the keys was sticking and it wouldn't register all the time when I hit it. It was very interesting to see the inner workings of the piano and the whole process was very calming and methodical. Interestingly, each set of keys could be removed by octave so you can access the circuitboards underneath without having to remove every single key, which I thought was a genius design. It was nice to clean out the insides as well, since I've had the piano for over 15 years now and it accumulated a lot of dust inside. It felt like the most important repair job I've ever done because my piano is so precious to me, so I made sure to do the whole process with the maximum amount of care.
January 17, 2021
People cannot believe that as a librarian I can do my job from home, but then people don’t really understand all that librarians do. We now do our story times online, and we see a very different audience. They come from around the county and even other states, but only those who own computers and understand technology. We work Tuesday thru Saturday instead of 7 days a week.
January 17, 2021
This question almost feels like a joke because I think the answer is pretty obvious, with the biggest news story this week being the breach of the capital. As more details emerge like the claims of Congresspeople giving reconnaissance tours of the Capitol, plans to assassinate officials like the vice president, and evidence pointing towards riot being intentionally planned instead of just spur of the moment really are shocking and I can't believe it. It's been interesting to see the right-wing media's response to the event, because I really believe they were just as much a contributor to this riot is everyone else like the president and other politicians who were accused of inciting the violence. The day after the riot I I watched Fox news with my grandmother and they immediately started doing damage control, separating those who write it and broke into the capital from other Trump supporters. However, what didn't sit right with me as how they kept bringing up that the riot "wasn't as bad" as the nighttime riots that occurred in the summer during the black lives matter protests, which seems ridiculous to me. It's like the whole "but her emails" argument all over again but this time with something more important going on.
January 17, 2021
I tend to express myself better with art than words, this tends to be due to the shortcomings of language and the confusion surrounding the way in which an audience perceives what is either being said or written. Though there is much room for interpretation with art, I feel it has a more universal and connecting role in our lives. Along with being able to express myself in this way much more fluently are the reasons why I choose to draw my experiences. Covid caused my unemployment and partially my homelessness, my brother and I had to couch hop which was a challenge during these times. Staying safe, having people willing to help due to the virus and other health related issues surrounding it. The same goes for finding a house to rent, though we eventually did, it was a friend of a family instead of an apartment or other. Places weren't renting out and there weren't vacant homes due to the inability to evict. My family has always been really important to me but they are at increased risk due to my parents age so we limited severally our physical contact and now live on our own. Food Pantries were more difficult to use due to restrictions and precautions and limited supplies. Being an artist and going to university has changed much as well, not being able to make art in the studios or have in person critics and lessons completely changed how I made art. My space was much smaller, I had access to less supplies and tools. I had to rent internet and a laptop from campus to continue my education while homeless until now. These challenges have only helped me grow not only as an artist but as a person as well. We continue to take precautions and follow all the guidelines.
January 18, 2021
Ten months into the pandemic, time itself has taken on a new shape. Once brimming with new possibilities, it is now warped and unrecognizable. The rigidity of life during COVID-19 has resulted in days, weeks and months rapidly melding into sameness.
January 18, 2021
This week I aged out of my mom’s health insurance plan. It is scary to navigate and fortunately I am able to qualify for medic-aid from the state. It’s also difficult because I have a disability and a lot of the treatment I was able to have was because of my mom’s insurances now I have to start all over with the process and it is backed up because of the pandemic. Then I got to thinking that at least I have the privilege to have those options. There are some people who don’t even have that choice. In the midst of the pandemic I question how many people have passed away because they couldn’t go to the hospital for fear of the insane amount of medical bills one may acquire. It’s so unfortunate and unfair that one has to be put in that predicament.
January 18, 2021
January 14, 2021 Since I have been working in kitchens and restaurants, weekdays and weekends are the same thing. Every place that I have worked so far has been open seven days per week. A typical day for me means that I get up, eat breakfast and dress for work. I hop in the car and I drive to where I work. I slap on a mask, punch in on the time clock and wash my hands. I start to work, and I don’t stop until the shift is over. For me, my shift usually covers the preparation and service for one meal in the day. After the shift, I get back in my car, take off my mask and go home. Not much in this schedule has changed since the pandemic began. The biggest change in the day is the requirement to wear a mask. A mask can make it difficult for me to communicate because it muffles my voice. I also find it hard to understand coworkers who are wearing masks because their voices are also muffled and their faces are covered. I also find myself using hand sanitizer a lot more. I have to wear gloves all the time now, where the previous standard for food service workers in my state says that you can have your hands bare if you do not touch the food (just the dishes or any wrappers). The change in policies regarding gloves is strange, because the restaurants I have worked in previously considered wearing gloves in the dining room in front of customers to be a signal to the customers that the restaurant (or the customers themselves) were somehow unclean, so bare hands were sometimes preferred. The biggest change in the food industry is the overall instability. Production facilities and restaurants in the area are constantly looking for employees as more people get sick or opt to stay home out of the craziness.
January 18, 2021
The biggest news this past week was the assembly of 20,000 National Guard troops to protect the Presidential Inauguration. I am 64 years-old and would have never believed citizens of United States of America would become so emotionally charged and violent that the military branch designed to protect our country from foreign invaders would be used as a deterrent to potential threats of its citizens. This action conveys the government expects chaos and lacks the respect of the citizens. I am saddened that the few who riot, loot, and destroy believe they have the right to destroy and take things that others worked so hard for.
January 18, 2021
It's the eve before the inauguration and personally, I am feeling optimistic. I have a ten minute zoom gathering planned for tomorrow with random people to raise a toast to our new administration. And cheer that four years of this national nightmare are OVER!!! And celebrate the ascension of our first female, Black, Asian Vice President!! We are going to have a group scream over Zoom. It will be cathartic and healing. And then we will pop the champagne and drink heartily together. I know there is SO Much more to do re the vaccines and masks and the economy and getting people back to work. But still: We need to stop and celebrate the moments that mean something. I live close to the Capitol and am sad I can't attend the inauguration. It's a wonderful event, to be in the crowd with so many like minded people, and I know this one would have been amazing because of Kamala Harris. I went to the Obama inauguration and it was so moving to see so many proud people, to be part of social change going in the direction we want. Anyway, there's a pandemic. And loony white supremacists lurking around. So we'll watch it on TV. And cheer from home. Around me, people are worried, anxious that something horrible will happen tomorrow. I don't think so. I think the worst has passed with regard to the protests and the Capitol. Meanwhile, we have two young men from India who just arrived on Friday, direct from Delhi, staying in our airbnb, and they are so lovely. We text every day, and they have just offered to make us Indian food!! I am going to make them some sort of American cake--maybe banana bread? I realized just now I could focus on the fact that we can't sit down and have a meal together, or I can focus on the fact that two complete strangers from halfway around the world just showed up at my house and are eager to share their culture with me and eager to receive from us. You can focus on the division and hate, or you can focus on all the people who want to make connections and build a better world. That's where I'm placing my energy right now.
January 20, 2021
At some point during the fall, I got the urge to have a little toy to play with for mental breaks during the work days. I'd keep it on my home-office desk. While these MagnaTiles are much larger than I expected (I just didn't thoroughly consider the measurements provided), they're pretty cool to play with. I don't use them as much as I would if I had them on my desk (they'd take up too much room), but when I do play with them it requires me to carve out a bit more time that I otherwise thought I would. That's been kind of nice, actually.
January 20, 2021
The stir crazies are definitely happening. Honestly this week has passed like so many others that I think my answer is that Covid has affected my last week by continuing to drive me nuts.
January 20, 2021
I haven't had COVID, but my sister did in the fall in September or October I think. I remember I was so scared for her when she said she tested positive. I live on the East Coast and she lives in Montana, so we don't live very close to each other. We can't just go and visit each other without some extensive planning. Thank goodness she ended up being okay. She described it as having a really bad cold and then suddenly lost all energy. But, she was able to recover at home without going to the hospital. Last month (December) she was saying her sense of taste is still really off. She said she often has to ask her sons to double check how something tastes in the fridge because when she goes to eat something it will taste really off, or like it's gone bad. I also have two friends who believe they had COVID prior to when testing was available, so they really don't know if they had it. And the tests to see if you have the antibodies really aren't very reliable. One of them caught it in January towards the end of a vacation to India and she was very sick. She described it as being the sickest she's ever been and she lost her sense of taste. My other friend believes she got it the end of February and she felt like she had a horrible case of the flu and one of the sickest she's ever been. I know she said that it really affected her breathing. But, again, both of them caught it before they could be tested for it, or before anyone even know how widespread it was even here in the U.S. I'm very thankful that my loved ones who caught this virus made it through okay, but I know there are so many others who have not been so fortunate. It is one of my biggest worries and a great source of anxiety.
January 20, 2021
Anxiety through the roof re: when I can get the vaccine. I qualify for the 16-64 with comorbidities and just need to get it done. I'm terrified of getting COVID as I am already compromised and I simply can't wait much longer to receive the vaccine.
January 20, 2021
Look it's my birthday! I turned 26 and am not a ditz I work hard as a teacher, coach, and student. I am kind, strong, empathetic and creative. Look it's my birthday! I know it is a little tilted I have a new vision of myself after 2020 I am caring, principled, knowledgeable, and a risk taker. Look it's my birthday! We are still in quarantine. I haven't been this sick since I was fourteen I am grateful, humble, hopeful and inspired. Look it's my birthday! I miss you grandmother, I know you passed away Only 6 days before my birthday. I miss hearing your voice, your song as you sing happy birthday My greatest gift of all is family this birthday. I sat in your chair, I took care of your dog, I look after your husband And I miss you most of all. On this birthday in the new year and there is a new me of sorts I thank everyone around me for getting this far Even though I no longer have healthcare I will continue to keep the memories of those I have lost with me. Look it's my birthday! I drove very far, the first time to grandparents house only 356 miles far I walked through the door holding back tears And hugged your daughter as she welcomed me into my new year.
January 20, 2021